So final, but so pretty

I got off real early today and I was very happy about that! I met my niece my brothers daughter at the cemetery where my brother is laid to rest, his headstone came in and I wanted to see it, considering I wont have time the rest of the week, asked Mom if she wanted to go and she said she couldn't bring herself to go just yet, I was some what hurt, but I understand now, seeing my brothers name, his birth date and the day he left to go and join Jesus was just hard, I kept thinking his name isn't suppose to be on here, then we tried to find the field where he took his finally nap at, we found the field but our cousin has it locked up, so we couldn't drive and walking was out of the question, it was so windy. It's been an emotional afternoon for me, his marker is beautiful, there's a cotton flower on the top and under his name it reads "Loving father, son, brother & friend" and that was my brother, I told my husbands sister's husband "I use to tell my brother he had such a huge heart, and he died from an enlarge heart!" I told my niece how one night sitting here at the computer I smelt spearmint gum and my brother ALWAYS chewed spearmint gum, and she said "Aunt Annette, dad had spearmint gum in his pocket the night he passed!!" her and I cried, she asked me if I wanted to come in his house, but I just couldn't go in, not yet. Tomorrow I am going to get my hair cut and colored and buy Amanda some of CHRISTmas wishes and finish up shopping for our CHRISTmas meal,kind of scared to do this, I've been keeping myself in this little house of mine sense we've moved in it, but I will pray for strength and patience.
I will post more tomorrow sometime....

I LOVE YOU~