I wonder why??

Today I have thought about so much and missing so many important people that where once in my life...I wonder why there are days like these? I wonder why some days I miss them more than others? I sometimes believe that GOD allows these memories to come and go to remind me of what lies ahead for me and how I will never have to wonder these thoughts again and my heart will never feel heavy again....I miss these people so much they ALL played very important roles in my life and I am who I am today because of them, I wish I could be given one more time with them to tell them I love them, to give them hugs, to be able to tell them how important they have been in my life, just the one more time, so until I see them again all I can do is talk to them as if they are here with me now and believe they hear me but it's nothing like it would be in person to see their facial expressions or feel their skin when they hug me back or smell their sent all I have now are memories of all those things...sometime back I wanted to call my friend and the only phone number I could remember is my brothers and I wondered why....so I sat on the couch and had a conversation with him, closed my eyes and pictured him here with me, I could see him laughing at things I told him about our Mom, the kids, this pup, and I could see him cry when I told him I wished he was here and how I felt he was missing on so much and I could see us hugging each other, I remember caressing his face and playing with his ear lopes, yes I LOVED my brother more than any man I have ever had in my life, he never walked out on me and momma and I know one day I WILL walk through those pearly gates and he will be there waiting for me, no more imagining !!!!!!!!!! I wonder what these people who have left will look like now, they say in heaven you are young, will I recognize them? will they recognize me? I believe so......

Who is this handsome boy & future solider?

Do you know who this little boy & handsome future solider is???

He's MY Johnathon......

* I've enlarged the picture some so he looks blurry.....but still very handsome =)

Some Of This....Some Of That.....

Good Morning my sweet friends~

I worked yesterday and this was suppose to be my 3 day week end, which has never happened to me before but I agreed to work for a co worker dont know what I was thinking, but it does give me an extra day on the pay check, only to have Uncle Sam take it back....

My Johnanthon called me yesterday, he's now use to sweating he said and the boys in his group are getting better, not messing up so much, I reminded him that I was praying for all of them thats why they're getting better! he told me " Mom, you dont know how many times I have just wanted to quite and come home " I said " O..Son...don't give up, just stick it out your almost done, full fill that dream you've always wanted" the stories he's tell me makes me so sad and the things he's done I would never dream of making him do, but he's becoming a man and a solider, I told him " I wish I could help you honey" " I know you do Mom, who've always been here for me, but you cant help me this time" then I cried and bawled on the way home from work, but GOD reminded me that he's been there with him...my little smart mouth boy, the little boy who was ALWAYS in trouble in school, the little boy that NONE of the parents liked their little boy to play with, the little boy who once brought me a snail shell with a the snail still in it cause he thought I would like it with the rest of the shells in the bathroom, the little boy who brought me a orange colored leaf cause he liked the color, the little boy who put cards on the spooks of his bike tires to annoy this crabby neighbor is now becoming a man.....one of the 2 ceremony he will attend when he graduates is getting his blue rope and he wants my step dad to put it on him, him and my step dad are pretty close I thought that was just the kindest thing ever, Larry's feelings got hurt a tad bit, but John and Larry have never been real close, John said if Bill and Mom werent going he'd want me to put it on him....I could write and write and write on Johnanthon but I will stop.....

Amanda's been a busy social bee..the county fair is going on and shes been going all week end, I have no desire to go this year just wayyyyyy to crowded, I mean dangerously crowded and the gangs are there as well as the drunks and those 2 together just dont mix, so I will stay home, Amanda and I have NOT been getting along at all, she's said some pretty hurtful things to me and I've become numb to her, so when I pray for Johnanthon I pray for her and tell LORD to have his way with her, and that I know no matter what he puts her through she'll be safe cause he's allowed her to be there for a reason, maybe I live in a world of " dreams " with her but I dont think it's wrong to want a relationship with her again, I do not like her crowd of friends at all, they have nothing going for themselves and arent worth a pot to put water in but I just ask LORD to open her eyes and he will one day, he knows her calender and what event is gonna happen when and where.....so in the mean time I cry my eyes out for Johnanthon sometimes and then pull my hair out for her.....but GOD will prevail!!!!!

Tid bits......

Man I feel awful for not posting after writing about how no one ever post much any more but I forgot to pay the inter net bill and because of the way the bill was billed I got stuck with 2 months and I had to let some bills go for a bit, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in today economy....all is well, Johnanthon is adjusting I think or at lease it sounds that way from his last phone call and the letter I got, he did say it is getting pretty hard and he's in a group with a butch of boys who mess up and easily does 500 push ups through out the day, so I told him I wrote him and told him I will pray for those boys to start straighting up and pay attention, can I please have you ladies pray for Johnanthon? ask GOD to keep him cool in that Georgia weather and to pick him up and carry him when he starts feeling like he cant do any more and to have the angels gently push him along as well, I know GOD has heard me, but the more that prays the better....
I spent a half a day with Mom, I love just sitting and chatting with her and every time she ask about Johnanthon she cries, he would go over and do little odd jobs for them or just stop by and get fed, he loves his grandma and I love that he use tojust drop by and visit her, he's done it more now than before, ever since my brother left....and Johnanthons Missy is finally getting use to him being gone and isnt so mopey, shes got her spunk back, I dont know what I liked better, her being mopey or her having spunk, hahahahaha.
With everything thats been going on around here I find myself chatting more and more with LORD and just finding comfort finally in my life, I think LORD loves it when I finally lay my head down and go to sleep for the night, gives him a chance to listen to someone else for a change for a few hours any ways....

He made too Georgia....

Well my Johnanthon is in Georgia!!

Monday Larry and I took him to his recruiters office so he could be taken to MEPS in Sacramento I think, for his one last physical and getting his last paper work in order, his recruiter is just an awesome man, I did real good til I hugged him and got in my car to go back to work, I know he'll be back but it's the thought of him being gone for so long that hurts, he was suppose to fly out Tuesday but because of conflict in time he wasnt able too, so they flew out the next day. He's called me almost everyday while he was here in Cali, called me from the air port in Georgia and was waiting on the bus to take them to base, he said he just ordered and I quote him " A BIG FAT T-bone steak with a bake potato and corn with a Pepsi and a piece of chocolate cake, I know my meals after tonight arent gonna be worth a crap" he said it was so hot when he got off the plane he couldnt breath...he's learned how to sneak and do stuff, he was standing outside the store telling people where to go and he asked his DI ( drill instructor ) if he could use the bathroom and he was told No, and he had to go real bad, so he figured a way to relieve himself with out the DI knowing, thank goodness it was raining that day, he said all 49 of those young men in his baton have a attitude ( and yes, he's one of the 49) He will be in class for the next 2 weeks then they will be doing field exercises. I miss him so much. I heard a loud stereo the other night and told Larry " Johnanthon's home " I made a dessert this week and thought " Johnanthon will like this" just little things like that, that makes me miss him, my goal this week is too sanitize that filthy room of his..I was told by a friend who's son is the military " Stand proud..your a military Mom now" and when I think of that I get all teary eyed, we hung our flag on Wednesday for Johnanthon, it's suppose to be good luck to your son or daughter while they are in basic to hang your flag the whole time they are in training, so I hung mine with such pride, the neighbors all ask " Hows your boy doing in basic?" makes me so HaPpy to know they have a military boy across the street from them, they all have told me " We are praying for him" or the retired minister across the street told " I had our church pray for your son last Sunday that he does good in boot camp and for him to be safe" that reminds of something Johnanthon told me this morning when he snuck to call me, he said he's going to church on Sunday, I said O good Son, he told me " yea, I figure I can sleep a little more in there" " Johnanthon Gilbert Davis" I said back in a stern voice..." You pay attention to the word that is spoken that day" it made me giggle a tad....

My son is in GODS arms, I ask GOD every night to keep him cool while he's in basic so he wont get sick and to have the angels wings push him through the field training and I know he will, cause I have put him 100 % in GODS HANDS and you can not get any better protection than that, I just got the chills when I typed that so I know for a fact GOD is full filling my request....

Johnanthon's Graduation / Going Away To Boot Camp Party.....

Table decorations, like'em? I made them..

My brother's son and his future wife, his daughter & her boyfriend

My beautiful Mom & step dad

Larry's sister & her boyfriend

Cool food staying cool in a kiddy pool

Mom's idea...

A RARE moment for these 2

My beautiful Mom laughing at something

I love to see her smile & hear her laugh

The Davis's




Yes...I am PROUD






Proud parents

And a PROUD father

Whats happend???

Isn't it sad that really none of us blog much any more? too busy in life or checking in on each other on facebook but not personal with each other like before facebook came along....my goal is too to get back on to blogging and visiting everyone again and seeing whats going on, getting back into blog family lives again and getting my relationship with each of you open again, I may not blog much but please dont think for one moment I have forgotten any of you, how can you forget people that GOD has put into our lives and become part of their families....I do get kind of sad cause when I do post it seems like no one reads out posts so sometimes I have to be honest here and I will ask myself why blog? no one reads them, there are a few that I can count on to visit me and I have to say I get as happy as a clam in water...I hope to get some what personal on here so all of you will know whats going on in my life, I do love you all....soon I will post pictures of my Johns graduation/ Going Away To Boot camp party and our trip to Yosemite Ca. with just him 3 days before he left, the waterfall where just stunning cause of all the snow we had, these are the kind of things I miss sharing with you....