I wonder why??

Today I have thought about so much and missing so many important people that where once in my life...I wonder why there are days like these? I wonder why some days I miss them more than others? I sometimes believe that GOD allows these memories to come and go to remind me of what lies ahead for me and how I will never have to wonder these thoughts again and my heart will never feel heavy again....I miss these people so much they ALL played very important roles in my life and I am who I am today because of them, I wish I could be given one more time with them to tell them I love them, to give them hugs, to be able to tell them how important they have been in my life, just the one more time, so until I see them again all I can do is talk to them as if they are here with me now and believe they hear me but it's nothing like it would be in person to see their facial expressions or feel their skin when they hug me back or smell their sent all I have now are memories of all those things...sometime back I wanted to call my friend and the only phone number I could remember is my brothers and I wondered why....so I sat on the couch and had a conversation with him, closed my eyes and pictured him here with me, I could see him laughing at things I told him about our Mom, the kids, this pup, and I could see him cry when I told him I wished he was here and how I felt he was missing on so much and I could see us hugging each other, I remember caressing his face and playing with his ear lopes, yes I LOVED my brother more than any man I have ever had in my life, he never walked out on me and momma and I know one day I WILL walk through those pearly gates and he will be there waiting for me, no more imagining !!!!!!!!!! I wonder what these people who have left will look like now, they say in heaven you are young, will I recognize them? will they recognize me? I believe so......