This is me.....

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California, United States
I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a aunt, a friend, a godmother, and best of all....A child of God!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

October...already?

Awwww, October is here already?! You can feel fall wanting to come, you can see it wanting to make it's presence known but for some reason we're still having summer like weather in my part of Cali, I love this time of year, clocks will be set back an hour soon, so then it will get dark quicker, it's already letting us know that, October will never really be the same for me anymore....one year ago on the 26 my sweet brother left this world, he took a hand and began his new life, sometimes, for the most part feels just like a few months ago I took for granted that I could call him and the pain is still here, not as bad as it was, and the tears still come and go from time to time, and I try so hard not to mention him on here cause I just dont want people to say " she needs to get in grief recovery " or " O'my goodness is she ever gonna just let go?" to answer the first question: I am in grief recovery with the best listener ever, the group: Angels, the listener : My heavenly Farther, and to answer the second question" I probably will never be able to let go 100%, how do you let go of someone who left just like that and who played a HUGE part in my life? I should of started weening myself away, not to depend on him to always being here, after all I am 46 years old, a mother, a daughter, and wife, but he helped me understand so much when I couldnt stand a soul or myself at times around here and with in the blink of an eye....POOF!! he was gone, took a deep breath and that was the end of his days here, and I seriously feel like no one understands me now, certain things you just dont talk to a mom about, learned that one the hard way! So, if I seem distance from all of you, it's cause I am and please dont take personally, it's not by choose, it's something I just cant help, it's not that I dont care about you, or that I dont love each and everyone of you in a very special unique way, cause I do.....it's just Annette is trying so hard to find Annette again, I have learned from my brothers leaving to depend more on my communication line with JESUS and to put EVERYTHING that burdens my heart in his hands, the same hands that lead my brother to his mansion....

3 comments:

Donetta said...

love you

kimberly said...

love you too, annette....when someone is taken from us in the prime of their life, i think it is harder to accept....than if they are taken from us after a life that has been long and lived to the fullest...hoping that the coming days do give you comfort knowing what your heart knows.
hugs and love,
kimberly

Joni said...

My heart aches for that sense of loss you are feeling...I know there is nothing anyone can really say or do that will make it go away. I think you just need to trust that in time our Father God will fill that hole with something unique and purposeful in the loving memory of your brother...who incidently, will always be a part of you.

Love you my friend ~
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