Bitter sweet day~

Today was a smidgen sad for me, my niece and nephew had a yard sale of some of the "junk" stuff that my brother had so I strolled around the stuff that laid on the ground, looked at his some of his boots and could remember him wearing them and I mentioned " man my brother had little feet " but I thought those little feet of his sure had allot of miles on them and by the looks of the sole of those boots they did too, looked at some shirts that where there and one of them I could remember him wearing when we took Momma out for brunch once, I noticed coffee cups sitting on a table, picked one up and thought "my brother's fingers wrapped around this handle as I wrapped my fingers around it looked at the rim of it for some kind of lip prints, and I carried it around and I brought it home, I felt so connected to him, something as small as a coffee cup gave me a connection, took some throw pillows that he had on his couch, I looked over those things like no ones business, just to find something of him, my sweet sister in law, his ex wife, had been watching me scouring over thing that was his, I looked up with this coffee cup in my hand and that I felt a connection with and these throw pillows and the tears just came like some one had turned on the water hose, I sat in this recliner he had and sobbed, my niece, my nephew and his sweet girlfriend, my sister in law and her husband she has now, came to my rescue and hugged me and let me cry, letting go is so very hard, and I dont think I am completely ready to let go of my friend, and my big brother, or will I ever let go of him? I have tried so hard to than something will just resurface it, I still have flash backs of the night he left us, flash back of his funeral, flash back of childhood memories, like the one time he ate my roses off my birthday cake and how mad momma got at him cause I was crying ( smiling on my end) and she wasnt in the mood probably at that time to hear me cry over butter cream flowers.... Girls, I so badly miss him still but I know in time I will see him again and those little feet of his will have walked him to gates to greet me when I run throw them and I know I will be able to eat all of the butter cream flowers I want with him, all in Gods time.........