Wednesday, February 17, 2010
She's got a broken heart, I've got to be a Momma bear for her
My poor Mom, her and I where going to go my brothers resting place this morning cause tomorrow would have been his 54th birthday and she wanted me to take her, but she just can't seem to go, shes has thrown herself into anxiety attacks, brought her blood pressure up, her poor broken heart has been giving her fits, flip flopping around as she says and "I can't honey, I just can't, too final" as shes sobbing, then I start sobbing cause she's hurting so badly girls, she told me "I'm afraid if I go, I'll have another heart attack and I'm not ready to leave you Annette" "Momma, your never going to be ready to leave me, it's not up to you when you do leave, you know this" shes asked if shes ever going to get over this, I said one day you will Momma, maybe not in this life time, but you will, talked to her some about joining a grief recover group for parents, I have to act so strong for her and when I'm alone that's when I cry, either in bed, or I might be watching T.V. or driving home from work, sitting at this computer, once I was sitting on the toilet and started crying and talking to Joey & God, just some crazy places to talk to our farther, but he doesn't care where I'm at as long as I turn to him, and my step dad just doesn't understand her pain, he's never had to bury one of his children, and I hope he never has too, so I guess I'll just have to go over there and be her Momma bear, she is going to stay a few days with my Aunt, her older sister, cant wait to hear all about that trip my Aunt is so confused (kind of giggling and smiling thinking about it already) so ladies can you please pray for my mom and pray for me to continue to be strong for her, being the only child isn't fun at all anymore......
Posted by Annette at 9:51 AM