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Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm at my witts end with it.......


You know for the better part I don't usually post about my personal issues I'm having here at home, why burden other's, is my thought, and I don't want a single soul to think differently about my sweet daughter who came into my life and rescued me from a horrible life I was living, but....I CANT STAND HER BOYFRIEND! I so bad want to use the word Hate, but that is such a strong word, and I seriously don't HATE him or anyone for that matter, I use to think he was a such nice boy, but as time goes on you really do start seeing their true colors, and none of his colors are my favorites, he's so controlling, demanding, I hear her on the phone ALLOT, more than she thinks I do....she cries, screams, throws things, just a horrible spirit...I've called him and told him, well demanded for him to stop being this way, then he gets disrespectful towards me, and that's not happening...Johnanthon has basically told to go jump off a cliff, cause of the way he has treated his sister and me..my baby.....I hate the thought when shes with him, I cringe, he's not allowed in my home any more, he's tried it a couple of time and you all know how I say what I want, when I want, where I want, and I've told him face to face"Just turn right back around and go out the very same door you came in, I didn't invite you in, Amanda, will be out in a few" then the fight is on between her and I ! So, basically I'm praying and I'm asking you to ask God to intervene in this relationship, she just left to go and have lunch with him, he didn't want to go out of his way and pick her up, but yet, he's going on the other side of town to pick up his friend, that's out of the way and taking him some where and Sissy asked him if she could go and he said No, O the nerve.....I'm thinking he's got another girl either he wants to see or is seeing and just isn't man enough to say anything, and if that the case, God have mercy on him! I'm just not feeling good about the whole thing. I told her " DO NOT give him any slack at all, and talk to him in the restaurant, cause at least there he cant make a scene" I really don't like him any more and I try not to say too much, afraid it will just push more towards him, and I figure one day she'll have enough of him and the whole thing. Please pray......God knows the situation.

7 comments:

Irene said...

Oh Annette, I so feel for you. It must be the hardest thing in the world to watch your child make a stupid mistake. But you are right that arguing with her may just drive her closer to him. I will most definetly pray for her and you. Remember when you ask God to help, let him.

Denise said...

Oh girl....... She was on my mind today! I will pray even more now.. She is headed to such heartache and I know that the Father God has such wonderful plans for her life... Oh how I wish we could take our wisdom of our years and input it into her mind..She would walk away in a heartbeat! I will pray for you as you stand in the gap for your daughter....... You just stand in your faith girl and believe God that HE will answer!

kimberly said...

so sorry you and amanda are going through this annette.....i completely know the anguish that you feel....and how it is so hard to feel so much and try to say so little....and it got worse before it got better....they need to see it for themselves...just seemed like no amount of talking did any good while they were blind to what was going on....just hope she learns that control is not love.......and finds the strength in herself to refuse to put up with this type of relationship.....and realizes what an amazing person she is and requires her relationships to treat her as such.
you both will be in my thoughts and prayers...
love you,
kimberly

Joni said...

It's tough watching them grow and learn what they should and should not put up with...if only they came with pause buttons...I am learning that not everyone raises their kids equally. Some kids just don't know any better, but that doesn't mean it's OK to be disrespectful. Some things just can't be compromised. Hang in there Nettie ~

Donetta said...

Hi Sis, Say have you ever heard of the abusive relationship cycle. It is a very common process of honeymoon fight , honeymoon escalating fight, honeymoon abusive fight, honeymoon violence.
Learn about ways to help her to see it.
If she has ever witnessed domestic violence she is susceptible even more so. Not knowing if it is applicable.
Even if it is a friend or relative.
The witness of it can make ya numb to it. It is a very common issue that teens face now days. Just let him do that in front of you.
Think about it a little . I understand you wreath at his presence. Yet if he does it in your home perhaps you can help her to see it. Or even to help her to see the two face in it.
Just a thought. Ask her if she would like you to forbid her of him if that might give her a way out. "My Mother said I can never see you" she may just want that...my kid had that turn of events once it really surprised me.She was able to blame it on me and that removed some of her fears.

By not allowing him in you reject a part of her...accepting her but not the behaviors associated she might be assisted in seeing more clearly.
Please do a search on teen violence and teen domestic abuse. Teens are living this way every day in our nations schools.
Her friends may speak words of envy about her privileges coming with having a guy. They are so very influential.
Ask for wisdom from God and he will give it to you. Seek and you will find.

Anonymous said...

Annette I'll say my prayers that your daughter will understand this man's behavior. This is not healthy behavior.

pchickki said...

This relationship will never survive and your sweet daughter is wasting her time on this jerk! I know teenage girls don't listen to their Moms. I was a teenage girl and at the time my Mom knew nothing!

It is hard but if she did end up with this guy in marriage it would be a disaster and break her heart. He sounds like he could be abusive too.

Good Luck Annette, stay strong with him. I will pray for the situation. God will intervene
Hugs
Patti

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