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I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a aunt, a friend, a godmother, and best of all....A child of God!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

"Time Can Be Cruiel"

Hello Good Friend's, I tried calling my Dad yesterday and wasn't able to get hold of him so I called my sister instead, I knew she'd know where him and my other mother was, will she didn't know cause her and my brother in law where in Dallas, I asked how Dad was and not so good she said, since being back, I don't know if I told you all but he had another small stroke, will I finally got hold of him tonight, his memory is so bad, he said he cant remember thing's he was going to do or say, and cant remember his friends, but my other mother said he remember his old crony friends, he forgot my name and probley wont remember me calling by tonight, but knew Amanda and John, he said he's been going to church every Sunday morning and night and on Wednesday's, and he said he's been trying to be "Good", he cries so easy, I reminded him on that, I said"Well, Daddy you use to tell me I cried to much" then he started laughing, I said "You know not remembering me coming to Scottsdale is a good thing, cause you wont remember me being fat or not", asked how Gilbert was, I had to remind him of that issue, it just makes me so damn sad, cause he doesn't remember anything from one minute to another. I asked God when I got off the phone, "Why him Lord?" I know I am not to question my heavenly father, but I couldn't help it, I knew this father would have an answer, I sit and wonder could have been this or that, or maybe if he did this, or did that, I can beat myself up over questions, but I'm leaving it in prayer, and I do believe my Dad's memory will get better, cause the power of prayer, it's one of our strongest tool's we've been blessed with. My Dad's mind is so child like now in so many ways, and that can be good thing. I can remember bits and pieces, he had a bad, bad temper, cursed so extremely bad, smoked, drank, and so much more of the worldly thing's, but not now, still cruses but the language is so much cleaner, but the rest of it, no he doesn't do it.
He says"I try to be a good person sis" as he's crying, I remind him he is a good person, and was good Dad, the best he could of been, being so far away, " Forgive me sis, if I did anything to hurt you in any way" he asked, I said "Daddy I did the minute it happened"

4 comments:

Nonnie said...

i'm so glad you were able to talk with him, annette.....and it is hard when the memory leaves....and sad for those who watch....sounds like he is just wanting you to know he loves you ...your answer to him was so sweet and reassuring and that is what he needs and wants.....your sweet love.....and i am learning more and more....that we just have to leave things in God's hands....and pray.
love and hugs to you today, sweet friend.....and i keep your dad in my thoughts and prayers.
kimberly

pfranklin said...

Oh Annette, I know your heart is heavy these days. My father cried a lot too before he died. I think it's because they wish they could change themselves or maybe go back and do things differently, right some wrongs or maybe show more love. You are doing the right thing by letting him cry and assuring him of your love. That's all you can do along with prayer.

Hugs to you Annette, Phyllis

Just Joni said...

Kimberly and Phyllis said it best and I echo their sentiments...just pray, things are better left in the hands of God ~
love ya'
Joni

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

My Mom cries a lot.. It wears me down sometimes. She seems to like Wal-Mart the best and people look at me like I am abusing her.
It is awful..
I think she is getting Dementia.
I will pray for you friend. You have encouraged me very much with your words.
The picture of you and your daughter is lovely.
Sending you love tonight, Nita

~The mind is like a parachute
it works best when it is opened~

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