Tuesday

So much going on right now, my head just isn't able to handle all of it, my Dad had another stroke a small one they said, and I hate it because I am here and he's there, I wish I had my own private little plane I'd be there in a minute, it's being so far away, and the not knowing, but it maybe for the best that I am here, went to the Doctor yesterday and he's taken me off work for 2 weeks right now to rest, I am a victim of depression and I cant stand it, once it grabs on, it's just so tough to make it go away, your days and nights just run all together, you wake up,if your able to sleep and your mind is already running at fast pace, but your body is telling you to slow down, for me either I am crying or silent, children ask whats wrong mom, and this makes me sad cause I really don't know whats wrong, so how do you give them an answer? I've prayed and left it in my Fathers hands and just wait to start feeling better, I cant stand being this way, if I knew how to prevent it I would, I feel like I am just rambling.......
18 years ago today I started the labor process with a beautiful baby on her way to this world, and 18 years ago today it was Easter Sunday! At this point I was getting her little bag to come home with ready, not knowing if it was a boy or girl, so I had to pack for both, I didn't want to know, I love surprises too much, and I didn't have any test done to check for "admoralities" I take any thing God gave me, after all he gives beautiful gifts, perfect to him, and I knew it would be perfect for me, so my labor process started............. to be continued.....................