~ Life, Love & Faith ~

2 years ago today he went to go live in HIS mansion....

2011-10-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

This very handsome man that I had the very special honors to call my brother, my BEST friend, my buddy, my mentor, Joe Joe, Joey left this world 2 years ago today, and there isnt a day or night that does not go by that I dont tell him I love him & miss him...I can now look at this picture and talk him about him with out crying, there are time's I do. Our Mom still has not gone out to his final resting place and maybe might not ever, she said he's not there, it's just a shell of his body and I have to say I understand that, but for me I so enjoy going out to his final resting place it's " MY " alone time with him, all my life I had this handsome man in my life, he was the one man who never walked out of life at sometime!! I sit here and think of some of the stuff we did to our mom and smile, some of the things we said to her and giggle, remember some of the things we did to mom before she went into surgery for heart surgery while mom was high on meds to relax her and laugh it's those kind of memories that I will cherish the rest of my life, here's an example of one thing HE put me up to and denied when Mom and Bill came home from a 2 week cruz in Europe...Him and I where talking and I told him how much I missed mom...he ( with out much encouraging ) told me to call their home phone and leave a conversation on it as if I was talking to her, so I did!! and when the answering machine hung me up I called it back and said " Why did you hang up on me Mom I wasnt done talking" and continued to talk, well when they came home my step dad played the answering machine and heard my one sided conversation and told our mom " I think Annette might be doing drugs " when I told Joey this he laughed so hard, and the one time he told me to put fluorescent sticky notes all over their slider when they where gone for a week saying random stuff, I had to call him and ask things to write cause I ran out of things to write, I wrote things like the temperature out side was....the color of flowers, what ever I could think of, their slider was covered in fluorescent colored sticky notes...and he denied having anything to do with any of this!!!

I miss him so much but I no for a fact one day I will see him again....

I love you Joey~

My brother drove one of these, in fact this

is what my brother just got doing the

the night he left....

They are all HIS .....

2011-10-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am playing with my blog design AGAIN !! I get bored so easy any more...hahaha.

Well my John is back at Fort Benning and has his good days and not so good days, I'm so afraid he's going to get bored and just drop out, he's not in a company yet due to him getting physical therapy for those stress fractures, I've told him time and time again to try and stick that out, but he's got to stay busy, they do have him in a group of late starters, but at one time they had him with the " quieter's " and he HATED that, he told they " Mooom, they are just d@mn depressing " I told him " Son, you would be too if you had to stay there for 3 1/2 months and do nothing but crap stuff and get no privileges at all." these are boys & girls who in the very get go realized this Army stuff just wasnt for them or they just couldnt handle the boot camp part, military isnt for everyone I told him, still praying for my baby, I will ALWAYS & continue to pray for him....

Amanda has been spending a little more time with me and I have to say it's been nice having someone to watch t.v. with even if it is her shows and to have someone to eat dinner with, eating with John's pup at my side just isnt cutting it....Sunday in church Pastor said " If there is something in your life you have been trying to take care of and just cant handle it any more, come down and give it ALL, all of it to the LORD, so there I went, with tears just rolling down my face, make up smearing, nose running, I mean the works and I gave it every bit back to him for HIS help and I felt so much better, I thought I had given her back to JESUS but I guess some of me still kept her in MY arms, so with my eyes closed I laid her in HIS lap with HIS arms embracing her, she now is HIS.....

John, Amanda, & me

2011-09-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

By golly George it's been a long time since I have posted, so much has happened since the last post, for starters..my John is home but will go fly back to boot camp Oct. 3 to finish, he came home cause he had stress fractures in both calves and usually they dont let them come home in his company, they usually are made to stay there or quit, I talked to John one night on the phone for a long time and he just wanted to give up, he was fed up, disappointed, in pain, the enemy had him right where he wanted him, I tried and tried and tried to give him words of encouragement and it just wanst working, the enemy had him good, I told him " Son, go talk to your Sr. Srgt, they all know whats going on and they're watching you too see how long it's gonna take you to buckle, just give your best shot honey" that night I laid in his bed and prayed that his Srgt. would have a merciful heart and see my Johns heart and desire, I told my heavenly father, " Father, I give my son back to you, he's all your's, from every hair strand in his beautiful head to the last toe nail on his strong feet, he's your's" the next day I got a phone call from my son, on his Srgt. phone telling me he's coming home and only for 3 weeks, and that he's going back and will get to go back where he left off at,PRAISE THE LORD!!!! he doesnt get to graduate with his new friends he made but they are letting come back, which is unusual, LORD heard my prayers, I'm still praying for his calves which have gotten so much better, no more pain, no more iburphoen being taken, no more swelling, but I do know LORD is still healing him!!!!! So graduation will be at later date, I'm thinking the middle of Nov. or the very latest the middle of Dec.

Now for Amanda, O this daughter of mine.....she got herself in LOTS of trouble, I thought I would never repeat this but here it goes, she got herself a DUI back in July, she kept from us for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well mom found out and I didnt yell, didnt threaten, didnt throw up against the wall, I was very calm when I told her I found out, see the enemy wanted me to do all those things then some, I wanted to but couldnt, I could feel JESUS had control of my emotions, well she's looking at some HUGE fines, community service, she picked that instead of doing 5 days in jail, classes for 4 months that she HAS to pay for for, she's on her own on this one, I did threaten Larry and told him if he helped his little DUI princess out that would be the straw the breaks the camels back, she has to learn something on her own, I prayed for LORD to have his way with her and her partying, I told him " LORD, do what ever you need to do with her, no matter what it is you put her through, I know she will be OK cause you've allowed her to be there and I know you would never allow her to be hurt, so AGAIN I gave her back to her heavenly father, 100 % of her.....so there you have it....

Me: Awww me...I have loss 20 lbs since my gall bladder surgery, have to cause of this nasty liver of mine, went down 2 pants sizes...yep I am happy and proud of my self, been going to church every Sunday I have off and loving it, my grown babies are home, loss weight, mom is doing great, John's pup is getting under control and GOD loves me, life is good, the enemy is trying with all his might to tear me down but I will NOT buckle......

Just a few minutes before going to church....

2011-08-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

I have a few minutes before going to church and thought I'd post a little something....Got a letter from my John and after graduation he will be stationed in New York at Fort Drum for more learning, out of 210 boys the drill Sargent told him he's their best shooter and they are now doing qualifications for their weapons, I am getting very excited about going to his graduation in October and seeing him and hugging him, I was watching a video on a face book page they have and the boys where jumping from what they call the " Eagles Nest " it's a tower about 7 stories high and some of these boys where scared out of their minds, they are harnessed in, they had to scale down and one of the drill Sargent told a boy this " The enemy has no fear and so we should not have fear" that has stuck in my mind, when I first heard that I thought " The devil is our enemy so there for we should not fear him" like the soldiers in training, their drill Sargent's are their protector right now, like GOD is ours, they trust their drill Sargent's and we should trust " our drill Sargent JESUS" like the drill Sargent's in the boot camp they are not gonna let these boys get hurt, they are making our future, just like GOD, he's not gonna let us get hurt for we are the future, does any of this make sense?

My mom and step dad are not gonna be able to make it to Johns graduation, which is a good thing I'm thinking, mom would have a terrible time there breathing and the heat, so it's just gonna be the 3 of us, a nice memorable family vacation, havent done that in years, seems like once the kids got older they didnt want to go any where with us, " Too boring " .....

Please keep Oklahoma and the other states that are much need of rain in your prayers, my cousins in Oklahoma that have pig farms, have had to have their grain shipped in from other places, no rain to water their crops, a huge expense on them.

I will leave you a couple of pictures of my John I found, keep these future soldiers in your prayers, I've been asking GOD to keep them cool and to carry them when they feel they cant go on any more, and to have the angels gently flap their wings with a cool breeze on them on these hot days there, the other night on the news the heat where Fort Benning is was 101, thats pretty dang hot....

John is the one in the middle writting, this a bible study they have for the boys....

I wonder why??

2011-07-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today I have thought about so much and missing so many important people that where once in my life...I wonder why there are days like these? I wonder why some days I miss them more than others? I sometimes believe that GOD allows these memories to come and go to remind me of what lies ahead for me and how I will never have to wonder these thoughts again and my heart will never feel heavy again....I miss these people so much they ALL played very important roles in my life and I am who I am today because of them, I wish I could be given one more time with them to tell them I love them, to give them hugs, to be able to tell them how important they have been in my life, just the one more time, so until I see them again all I can do is talk to them as if they are here with me now and believe they hear me but it's nothing like it would be in person to see their facial expressions or feel their skin when they hug me back or smell their sent all I have now are memories of all those things...sometime back I wanted to call my friend and the only phone number I could remember is my brothers and I wondered why....so I sat on the couch and had a conversation with him, closed my eyes and pictured him here with me, I could see him laughing at things I told him about our Mom, the kids, this pup, and I could see him cry when I told him I wished he was here and how I felt he was missing on so much and I could see us hugging each other, I remember caressing his face and playing with his ear lopes, yes I LOVED my brother more than any man I have ever had in my life, he never walked out on me and momma and I know one day I WILL walk through those pearly gates and he will be there waiting for me, no more imagining !!!!!!!!!! I wonder what these people who have left will look like now, they say in heaven you are young, will I recognize them? will they recognize me? I believe so......

Who is this handsome boy & future solider?

2011-07-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

Do you know who this little boy & handsome future solider is???

He's MY Johnathon......

* I've enlarged the picture some so he looks blurry.....but still very handsome =)

Some Of This....Some Of That.....

2011-07-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

Good Morning my sweet friends~

I worked yesterday and this was suppose to be my 3 day week end, which has never happened to me before but I agreed to work for a co worker dont know what I was thinking, but it does give me an extra day on the pay check, only to have Uncle Sam take it back....

My Johnanthon called me yesterday, he's now use to sweating he said and the boys in his group are getting better, not messing up so much, I reminded him that I was praying for all of them thats why they're getting better! he told me " Mom, you dont know how many times I have just wanted to quite and come home " I said " O..Son...don't give up, just stick it out your almost done, full fill that dream you've always wanted" the stories he's tell me makes me so sad and the things he's done I would never dream of making him do, but he's becoming a man and a solider, I told him " I wish I could help you honey" " I know you do Mom, who've always been here for me, but you cant help me this time" then I cried and bawled on the way home from work, but GOD reminded me that he's been there with him...my little smart mouth boy, the little boy who was ALWAYS in trouble in school, the little boy that NONE of the parents liked their little boy to play with, the little boy who once brought me a snail shell with a the snail still in it cause he thought I would like it with the rest of the shells in the bathroom, the little boy who brought me a orange colored leaf cause he liked the color, the little boy who put cards on the spooks of his bike tires to annoy this crabby neighbor is now becoming a man.....one of the 2 ceremony he will attend when he graduates is getting his blue rope and he wants my step dad to put it on him, him and my step dad are pretty close I thought that was just the kindest thing ever, Larry's feelings got hurt a tad bit, but John and Larry have never been real close, John said if Bill and Mom werent going he'd want me to put it on him....I could write and write and write on Johnanthon but I will stop.....

Amanda's been a busy social bee..the county fair is going on and shes been going all week end, I have no desire to go this year just wayyyyyy to crowded, I mean dangerously crowded and the gangs are there as well as the drunks and those 2 together just dont mix, so I will stay home, Amanda and I have NOT been getting along at all, she's said some pretty hurtful things to me and I've become numb to her, so when I pray for Johnanthon I pray for her and tell LORD to have his way with her, and that I know no matter what he puts her through she'll be safe cause he's allowed her to be there for a reason, maybe I live in a world of " dreams " with her but I dont think it's wrong to want a relationship with her again, I do not like her crowd of friends at all, they have nothing going for themselves and arent worth a pot to put water in but I just ask LORD to open her eyes and he will one day, he knows her calender and what event is gonna happen when and where.....so in the mean time I cry my eyes out for Johnanthon sometimes and then pull my hair out for her.....but GOD will prevail!!!!!

Tid bits......

2011-07-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Man I feel awful for not posting after writing about how no one ever post much any more but I forgot to pay the inter net bill and because of the way the bill was billed I got stuck with 2 months and I had to let some bills go for a bit, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in today economy....all is well, Johnanthon is adjusting I think or at lease it sounds that way from his last phone call and the letter I got, he did say it is getting pretty hard and he's in a group with a butch of boys who mess up and easily does 500 push ups through out the day, so I told him I wrote him and told him I will pray for those boys to start straighting up and pay attention, can I please have you ladies pray for Johnanthon? ask GOD to keep him cool in that Georgia weather and to pick him up and carry him when he starts feeling like he cant do any more and to have the angels gently push him along as well, I know GOD has heard me, but the more that prays the better....
I spent a half a day with Mom, I love just sitting and chatting with her and every time she ask about Johnanthon she cries, he would go over and do little odd jobs for them or just stop by and get fed, he loves his grandma and I love that he use tojust drop by and visit her, he's done it more now than before, ever since my brother left....and Johnanthons Missy is finally getting use to him being gone and isnt so mopey, shes got her spunk back, I dont know what I liked better, her being mopey or her having spunk, hahahahaha.
With everything thats been going on around here I find myself chatting more and more with LORD and just finding comfort finally in my life, I think LORD loves it when I finally lay my head down and go to sleep for the night, gives him a chance to listen to someone else for a change for a few hours any ways....

He made too Georgia....

2011-06-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well my Johnanthon is in Georgia!!

Monday Larry and I took him to his recruiters office so he could be taken to MEPS in Sacramento I think, for his one last physical and getting his last paper work in order, his recruiter is just an awesome man, I did real good til I hugged him and got in my car to go back to work, I know he'll be back but it's the thought of him being gone for so long that hurts, he was suppose to fly out Tuesday but because of conflict in time he wasnt able too, so they flew out the next day. He's called me almost everyday while he was here in Cali, called me from the air port in Georgia and was waiting on the bus to take them to base, he said he just ordered and I quote him " A BIG FAT T-bone steak with a bake potato and corn with a Pepsi and a piece of chocolate cake, I know my meals after tonight arent gonna be worth a crap" he said it was so hot when he got off the plane he couldnt breath...he's learned how to sneak and do stuff, he was standing outside the store telling people where to go and he asked his DI ( drill instructor ) if he could use the bathroom and he was told No, and he had to go real bad, so he figured a way to relieve himself with out the DI knowing, thank goodness it was raining that day, he said all 49 of those young men in his baton have a attitude ( and yes, he's one of the 49) He will be in class for the next 2 weeks then they will be doing field exercises. I miss him so much. I heard a loud stereo the other night and told Larry " Johnanthon's home " I made a dessert this week and thought " Johnanthon will like this" just little things like that, that makes me miss him, my goal this week is too sanitize that filthy room of his..I was told by a friend who's son is the military " Stand proud..your a military Mom now" and when I think of that I get all teary eyed, we hung our flag on Wednesday for Johnanthon, it's suppose to be good luck to your son or daughter while they are in basic to hang your flag the whole time they are in training, so I hung mine with such pride, the neighbors all ask " Hows your boy doing in basic?" makes me so HaPpy to know they have a military boy across the street from them, they all have told me " We are praying for him" or the retired minister across the street told " I had our church pray for your son last Sunday that he does good in boot camp and for him to be safe" that reminds of something Johnanthon told me this morning when he snuck to call me, he said he's going to church on Sunday, I said O good Son, he told me " yea, I figure I can sleep a little more in there" " Johnanthon Gilbert Davis" I said back in a stern voice..." You pay attention to the word that is spoken that day" it made me giggle a tad....

My son is in GODS arms, I ask GOD every night to keep him cool while he's in basic so he wont get sick and to have the angels wings push him through the field training and I know he will, cause I have put him 100 % in GODS HANDS and you can not get any better protection than that, I just got the chills when I typed that so I know for a fact GOD is full filling my request....

Johnanthon's Graduation / Going Away To Boot Camp Party.....

2011-06-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

Table decorations, like'em? I made them..

My brother's son and his future wife, his daughter & her boyfriend

My beautiful Mom & step dad

Larry's sister & her boyfriend

Cool food staying cool in a kiddy pool

Mom's idea...

A RARE moment for these 2

My beautiful Mom laughing at something

I love to see her smile & hear her laugh

The Davis's

Yes...I am PROUD

Proud parents

And a PROUD father

Whats happend???

2011-06-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Isn't it sad that really none of us blog much any more? too busy in life or checking in on each other on facebook but not personal with each other like before facebook came along....my goal is too to get back on to blogging and visiting everyone again and seeing whats going on, getting back into blog family lives again and getting my relationship with each of you open again, I may not blog much but please dont think for one moment I have forgotten any of you, how can you forget people that GOD has put into our lives and become part of their families....I do get kind of sad cause when I do post it seems like no one reads out posts so sometimes I have to be honest here and I will ask myself why blog? no one reads them, there are a few that I can count on to visit me and I have to say I get as happy as a clam in water...I hope to get some what personal on here so all of you will know whats going on in my life, I do love you all....soon I will post pictures of my Johns graduation/ Going Away To Boot camp party and our trip to Yosemite Ca. with just him 3 days before he left, the waterfall where just stunning cause of all the snow we had, these are the kind of things I miss sharing with you....

The liver reminds me so much of life.....

2011-05-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I have been diagnosed with a stage 2 fatty liver, and this can go bad IF I dont take care of myself, so I try to learn as much as I can on this and everytime I read anything on it I cry and get so upset with my self for not taking care of my self when I was younger, all because I wanted to have what I thought was "fun time's" then, this explaines so much to me, I learned that with a not healthy liver like mine you dont absorb hormones, explaines why my hormone levels are ALWAYS wacked off, explaines why I'm tired, my liver dont break done iron very well at all, so I have to be careful and not eat too many green leafy vegtiables and red meats, but I have learned that the liver is one of the most forgiving organs we have....just like GOD so forgiving, this liver reminds me of a human, lost in the world damage with out GOD but then you find GOD and you are forgiven and very well taken care of for life, but the rest of my life I have to it checked every year not unless something comes up and take very good care of myself and with GODS love and gentle hands on me, but it still makes me sad, so very, very sad....

HaPpY Momma Day.....

2011-05-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hundreds of dew drops too greet the dawn,

Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,

Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,

But only one mother the wide world over.

~George Cooper

My brother and I are the luckiest people in the world to have been blessed with this lady as our mom, mother, momma & friend. Thank you LORD for giving her to us.....

I tried to find that picture of my brother, mom and I but was unable too....

Johnanthon's mad & so am I....all over Cinco De Mayo...

2011-05-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

I AM FUUUUMING MAD!!!!!!!

Here it is 11:38 and my son is home from school PISSED OFF and I can't say I dont blame him!!! I'm like " Why you home son..to go to the bathroom?" he leaves school to come home and do that then he goes back, no biggy but I could tell something was wrong and I asked him and he said he walked into class and their studying for finals in small groups and his teacher said " How about Johnanthon's group discuss on racism, you should know all about that Johnanthon." John is like " Whats that suppose to mean?" " We all know how racists you are and what your going to do to the kids in school who are Hispanics and their cars" John asked " Sooo, just tell me what I am suppose to do" the teacher told him how all the school personal knows that he's gonna smash in their windows, John got so mad and pushed his desk over and said her to go screw her self that he was NOT prejudice at all and that he could careless about their holiday, it's just like us with the 4th of July and that he had friends of all races, so by now the office is calling him and threatening him telling him if anything happens to anybody car he would be the first one they suspect and the cops would be called and again John told the principal this time to go screw himself to hell and back and that he was leaving cause he wasnt going to be blamed for anything or be accused of such a stupid a$$ crime, did I mention I so bad want to go down to that school and tear into them...but I wont yet..I'll just wait and see what comes of it....

I can honestly say the only thing my son has a problem is people being gay, he just dont get it or understand how people are that way, but he's not mean to them, after all his sister has friends both male and females that are gay and they've been in my home, they've even eaten supper with us, went places with us and John's very respect to them, Amanda's friends that are lesbians, John will tease and joke with them about other girls, so serious to say my son is prejudice is an insult to me as well, but all that I can do is pray for this teacher and ask GOD to let her see my son differently and not to believe everything she hears, and too look deep into my sons heart and see it full of life and love and to ask him to cool me down....my whole family knows that if and when they go to HEAVEN that these very same people who are causing this trouble could be their neighbor, one just never knows who we will see HEAVEN walking those beautiful streets of gold....

I give him allot of credit for walking away from the matter instead of staying at school and maybe risk the chance of getting in so much trouble that could keep him from fulfilling his dream of going into the Army, Thank you LORD for steering him away from the problem!!!!

Mom's heart stint, Easter fun, & Johnanthon's new girl....

2011-04-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Let's see what's been going on since the last time I posted....my mom had her heart cath done and the Dr. ended up stinting another stint, the first stint lasted about 4 years, not to shabby but could be better, it's all in genes, I was not liking the thought of my brother not being there with me, this was the first medical thing I had to do with out him, I wasnt alone, I had my step dad there and my daughter went as well but I just wanted my brother, but there was a family there, a BIG family there waiting for news on there loved one wither he was to have a valve replacement or a repair, well the news came and he had to have a repair but the poor man was sent home and had to have a test done on his lungs to see if his lungs could stand up to the surgery, I felt so sorry for his wife and the rest of the family, the fear in their eyes, why didnt they just keep him in the hospital for that? I'm sure it was an insurance thing, it's always an insurance thing, so I prayed for that man and that family when I was sitting there waiting to see mom...and that family gathered around one another and prayed as well, I hope this man is doing ok, got the chills just then when I wrote that part, so I take it he's doing good.....

Had a good day Easter, good food, good people, and some real fun games, one of the games played was the little children hid the eggs for the adults who was 50 or over and some of the plastic eggs had numbers in them, they called your number you got a prize! the prizes consisted of things "older" people would use, for example...a magnifying glass, a nice big jug of prune juice, incontinent pads, Just for men hair coloring, tucks....it was all in fun, but I got to thinking about it, I'm only 47 and love prune's, I use bifocals, I color my hair cause of gray and I'm not 50!! what the heck, I dont use incontinent pads......yet!!

My Johnanthon has a new woman in his life, her name is Missy Jean, she's very petite and so sweet but I am going to teach her some manners if she's gonna stay around here, so far we all like her, he was introduced to her through some friends, her and Johnanthon hit it off immediately, she's with him every chance she gets and seems to love him and I think she will stay very devoted to him....I will post a picture of this new beau below, but I must warn you she's black and thats all good with me...

Isn't she just the most adorable girl ever? Here name is Missy Jean, she's half black lab and half German Short Haired Pointer, she's a hunting dog, and man O man she LOOOOVES her man, he brought her home and I was like " TAKE HER BACK!!" put the food back in his truck and the whole 9 yards, well the next day I baby sat her and she's won my heart as well as Larry's, he was like me, then Johnanthon proceeded to tell me when and where ever he gets stationed at he would have her flown out to where ever he's at, and " O know you wont...I've helped raised her and your NOT taking her from me" I believe this little love has come into our home for a reason....GOD works that way......

HE'S IS ALIVE, OUR JESUS IS ALIVE....Happy Easter~

2011-04-24T06:25:00.000-07:00

Luke 24;4-7 ESV

While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. (5) And they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, " Why do you seek the living amoung the dead?" (6) He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee (7) "That the son of man must be delivered ino the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise"

Luke 24:23 ESV

And when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels who said he was " ALIVE"!!!!

A day late, but I am being reminded....

2011-04-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

I know I am a day late on this but it was been so heavy on my heart this morning, it's about " Good Friday " I was cleaning this morning and thinking about the pain GOD took for me, I wondered if he saw my face? did he see my brothers face, my mothers,farther, did he see my children, I wonder this and it just made me cry to know he took whippings, beatings, spit on, rocks that where wrapped in cloth and was hit with all for me, then nailed and hung with a crown of throwns smashed into his head, birds picking at him, the heat, thirst and the humiliation of being laughed at, all this for me, funny how house cleaning reminded me of this, maybe because as I was cleaning the dirt and grime from my home JESUS was cleaning the dirt and grime from me, long before I was thought of in this time, but he knew I would be born as well as all of the others I thought of, I complain of back, my ankle, my head hurting, my heart aches, and not once did he complain of his pain, so my little aches and hurts are nothing compared to his, then he was thrown into a tomb, to be forgotten of, left there to die, do you know how many times I have wanted to run and hide and cry ? but why? when I come out of my hiding place it's all still there, the things that made me want to run and hide, JESUS did not run and hide nor did he die, HE LIVES, lives in my heart, lives in my thoughts....this morning all I see in my mind is the stripes on his back and him hanging on that cross for me, GOD reminding me what his SON had to go threw for ME, I love and treasure when the Holy Spirit reminds me of things, he knows my heart and desires.....

For GOD so loved the world that he gave his only begotten so that who so ever believed him shall NOT parish but have EVER LASTING LIFE!!!! John 3 : 16

21 years ago today I was blessed with my own diamond...

2011-04-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

21 years ago today I was blessed with my very own diamond......

Amanda LeeAnn Davis her arrival came when I was 26 years old, she was born with light golden blond hair and beautiful pink skin with some big eyes, she was 21 inches long and weighed 7lbs 12 oz, and this beautiful baby could of not came in a more perfect time in my life as well as so many others, I cry at the thought how GOD knew what I needed and he blessed me with her, my very own angel....my world at that time only consisted of Annette and no one else and I would make your eyes bulge and make you gasp for a breath if I chose to go into that past, but the past is the past and I left it the cross to never look back, my future was now to be a mommy and a mommy I became!! And my step dad ( THE only man that raised me ) was dying at the sweet young age of 53 to brain C and I seriously believe GOD knew I would I of gone back to the world of where I was before and he saw my future and thought " Nope..I'm giving my child a reason to live life again"

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl, O how I love you, I look at you and want to cry we're friends, we're our worst enemies, we're light for each other, we're each others counselor, we're coffee drinkers, we're lunch dates, but the one thing no one can take from us is we're each others ROCK.....

Asparagus Festival or Races, chats & walks....

2011-04-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Today Larry and I and another couple are suppose to go to the Asparagus festival in down town Stockton, the weather is going to perfect for this, they have vender's and of course Asparagus food, even Asparagus Ice cream and I LOVE ICE CREAM, Asparagus wraps, and of course deep fried Asparagus... then go to the races, not too sure if I want to go there or not, my driver isnt racing and I just dont like to go if he's not there. Amanda turns 21 tomorrow so I will post tomorrow for sure. Just wanted to drop a line to let you all know is well, Mom's heart cath is fast approaching and this will be the first thing like this I will endure with out my brother, man what am I going to do with out him by my side? I loved our long talks and our little walks out side around the hospital to stretch our legs and just to get some fresh air, we chatted about what ever came in our heads, I will continue the walks and chat with him any ways....Man....how I miss him, I never knew you could miss someone so much, but his leaving and all the things I have gone threw has made my walk with JESUS just that much stronger and I know one day I will be walking those golden streets with my brother....love the sound of that.

I remember this day....April 4, 2010

2011-04-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

Out side the wind is blowing and just a tad bit chilly...I wanted to re pot a plant but having doubts now, but there is always later on today. Today I'm gonna go and get my hair colored, cover up mother natures high lights, I dont like that color, she might but I dont really care for it, I love getting my hair colored I just feel so much better. Monday made a year that my daddy took GODS hand and traveled a beautiful road with him and it just bothered me so much, I relived that day in my head, the driving straight threw except to stop and get gas, use the restroom and a few snacks, I remembered sitting in the back seat and hearing my Uncle say " O...so he's brain dead and is on life support" looking out the window and sobbing, all by myself, no one to hugging me, just letting me sob, even thou I didnt have my daddy growing up and a better part of my young adult life, I knew then at that moment I would never have him at all, remember getting to the hospital in Tulsa Oklahoma buzzed to go in ICU and having the nurse take me to daddy's room, walking over to him, hugging him & crying, cried so much I soaked his gown, rubbing my fingers threw his thick hair, rubbing his ear lopes, thats something I picked up from him, it was trait I inherited from him, the Dr talked to me and said " Your sister and brother's left him on life support for you Annette" he took me to his office showed me his MRI scan on his brain and I said " Just take him off of that damn machine" the nurses came in shut everything off and removed everything and I sat there and watched his numbers go down, down, down......I stood by his bed and prayed to GOD thanking him for allowing me the short time I had him back in my life, and the spirit of JESUS was there in that room, you could feel it so strong and I felt good about his leaving this world, no more tears where shed that day, a year ago today we gave daddy an old fashion Assembly Of God funeral, laid him to rest next to my baby brother Johnny....

I miss Oklahoma, miss the laid back feeling of life, miss the polite people, miss the beautiful clean roads, miss my family, and most of all miss not going to visit daddy when I want, at one time I wanted to live there but as of now, no way!! to much drama from my sister, if I was to move there it would be far from them all, except for my Aunt Jeanette, but then I get to thinking my family and friends are here and always will be....

Wake up call from GOD....

2011-04-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is so late in posting but was kind of busy after work yesterday, visited a long time friend of mine that I found again on facebook and she had surgery..but I'm here now to write about my " I am proof " here it goes...as you all know I had to have my gallbladder out about a month ago and I'm doing so much better but learning what I can and can not eat is a game now, what fun that is....when I went and seen the surgeon who is a very close friend of mine as well and I trust him 100% with my life, he palpated my liver in his office and said he was going to take a piece of my liver for biopsy sense he was there, and I'm like " yea might as well your right there" little did I know he didnt like the way it felt, surgery came and gone, my mom teased and said " Your the idol doctor my daughter loves so much" Mom said he smiled and said " Yip, I'm him and I love her too and she's a pretty

special person to me as well" he then told mom & Larry that my liver was slightly enlarged, I still wasnt worried, I'm thinking OK it's from all the advil I take, I use to eat those things like M&M's...I went to have my staples removed and teased him about not telling anyone about my flabby belly or my firm breast and he laughed and hugged me and told me " I want you too see a specialist over your liver honey" I said "Dr. B whats wrong with it?" he wouldnt give an answer, but I know Dr. B well enough to know if it's not his field of expertise he wont comment to anything, I said " It's a fatty liver isnt it" still no answer, so I told him who I wanted, working in the hospital you know who's the best and who isnt, so a week later I went and seen Dr. E., his NP ( Nurse Practitioner) who I know as well, was a an RN on the floor at one time and went back to school, looked at my pathology report and said " Dear, you have hepatitis " I said " F. how stupid do you think I am? seriously?! hepatitis is inflammation of the liver, I may not be a RN but I do know some stuff" she said " Yes, your right but your a stage 2" then I got SCARED, came clean with my shady past and reassured her I DID NOT DO NEEDLE DRUGS did everything else but, she questioned my tattoo's told the guy that did mine is state approved and credit by California, NOT home made crap, so she proceeded to tell me Lupus can have the same effect on the liver, ordered all these labs to be done 18 viles to be exact, I counted them..and these labs wouldnt be back for at least 4 weeks!! I was on pins and needles for 4 weeks, on hand I thought " OK, so if it is hepatitis I can take a boat load of shots for a year, and be sick as hell from them but I can put this in remission, but on the other hand Lupus isnt contagious and can learn to live with and the side effects for the rest of my life" I cried cause I had been CLEAN FOR 21 YEARS and it's back to haunt me NOW...again I had put myself in a cocoon...but in the mean time I had prayers going out from so many people, had my mom worried and that bothered me, I didnt want to say anything til I had the results, but I couldnt help myself had to talk to her, after all I tell her everything, had my husband & daughter worried, the only person I didnt say anything too in this house was my Johnanthon, he's kind of funny on these kind of things, 2 things can happen with him, either he shuts down or rebels and I didnt want either to happen to him, he's doing pretty good for being a senior and I didnt want to burden him with this, went back and seen the NP for my results she looked at the papers and said " you dont have hepatitis" I said " OK, so I must have Lupus then" she looked at those papers, thumbed threw those papers a couple times, and now I'm looking at her facial expressions, she had a confused look on her and said " Annette, you dont have Lupus either" I laughed so hard she looked at me kind of weird, cause I knew I was HEALED, she even had the Dr. himself come and look at them he had a puzzled look on his face, he looked back at the original report from my surgery kept thumbing threw the papers and told me " Then you must have a fatty liver" I was explained about diet and exercises would help with that and they wanted to see me in a year and to have some labs done to check my markers ( a liver test ) I told them both" I have been healed by a Dr. named Jesus and whats your healed your healed, no more illness, poof gone, notha, zero, but I will be back just to proof to you JESUS is ALIVE and has POWER over me " For weeks I was a mess, but I got so much closer with GOD and my family, GOD was wanting me to get close to him again and he just kicked me in the butt to wake me up and that it did......

I AM PROOF........

2011-03-31T21:49:00.000-07:00

I AM SO LOVED !!!! I AM PROOF THAT GOD DOES ANSWERS PRAYERS I AM SO HAPPY THAT HE LOVES ME so do I have you wondering yet??? I will share my story on here Friday night, so come back later on or Saturday for details..... JESUS love ME this I know for the bible tells me so little ones to him belong they are weak but HE strong YES JESUS LOVES ME,......I

Silence....you can learn so much from it....

2011-03-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

I love coming home after work and no one being here, just so silent after the hustle and bustle of work...then Johnanthon comes home blast his stereo and starts laundry...all calmness has come to an end, and my life begins again being a mother, which I love, one of my favorite things in the world and supper has got to be started, I love my life as Mom & wife. Glad I taught my son to be independent and responsible, but from time to time he will sucker me into doing his laundry by saying something like this that melts my heart " I like it when you do my laundry mom, it smells and just feels so good" how can I say " No " to that??? I worked this last week end so tomorrow I will do my Saturday cleaning, now only if I could get these children, who are adults to scrub their own toilets and wipe their counter off in the bathroom... I just realized my daddy left this world almost a year ago I miss not being able to call him and talk to him from time to time, but I have taken his leaving so much better that I have my brothers leaving, maybe because I was raised with my brother being in my life so much more than my dad, maybe because my brother knew me so much better that my dad, maybe cause my brother never walked out of my life, but no matter what the reason is or was for my daddy not to be in my life I still miss him and missed him so much when I was little, but was thankful for the time I did have him in my life. . . .So thankful for having my Mom and the BEST step dad ever to be always be around, to be there when my heart got broke by my first love, to see me drive for the first time, see me go on my first date, to see me go to my first prom, to see everything sad & happy and my brother was there to see so many of them as well, but do I miss those 2 men not being in my life anymore? absolutely yes. . . .I have been going through so much these last 4 weeks, that I will share with all of you later on this week and it's made me realize to ENJOY life and all the beautiful people that are in my life now, I have learned to talk to GOD so much more these last few weeks and to look for him in my everyday life, my relationship with GOD has gotten so much stronger and I know that all this is in HIS plans and not of mine, it may not be a plan that I like, but my HEAVENLY FARTHER knows whats best for his daughter and my relationship with my husband and my children has gotten so much deeper and more personal, and my Mom. . . . . well I've learned to listen more and take her advice to different level and to apply to MY LIFE and appreciate her in such a way that I never realized, so in saying all this, LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART & TELL EVERYONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU....... I LOVE YOU~

I got a new toy....

2011-03-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Well hello girls...

I got a new toy...I bought my friends laptop, it's like brand new she had all cleaned out and I just couldnt help myself and bought the darn thing!! then I got to thinking I need to see if I can get on my blog and post so here I am...all is fairly well here, I will go into details later after I find out answers...Mom & Bill made it back from Arizona all in one piece!! I went back to work after having 3 weeks off for my gallbladder removed and wearing slippers for 3 weeks and my feet was not liking my shoes at all and my poor kitty was so lost with me but she managed. I just wanted to check in all tell all of you I am ok and now that I have something that will let me get on here I will be on here more, for some reason or another I wasnt able to get on blog with the PC I have, but I can this, I'm gonna go and buy a case for it with a lock so these darn kids will stay off it!! tootles for now....

Sunday tid bits around here~

2011-03-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday everyone!! I woke to the sound of rain and I
couldnt get my coffee to make fast enough to sit out side and enjoy it but Licorice and I did, so I pulled my hanging plants down from their hooks and put them out to let mother nature water them, I love it when the it drizzles and the water from the rain is all over the branches of these naked trees and on the leaves of plants the droplets remind of beautiful crystals......just so pretty.

I was reminded this morning from Mom that her and Bill will be heading to Arizona soon, they go every year to watch the professional baseball players practice, they have a time share and they make use of it and enjoy them self's and I miss her when shes gone but I am so happy that they can still go and enjoy life, although Bill's age is starting to catch up on him, he get's so tired and needs that afternoon nap Mom says and she's not real ready for those nap days just yet, as most of you know he's quit a bit older than her, but she knew what she was getting her self into when she married him, Joey and I tried to warn of the future with him....I personally think she likes taking care of him, Momma has always taken care of people in some matter of the form, she's just got a giving and loving heart, and some family member would argue that statement.....giggle~

My Johnanthon has bought him self some tires today and Thank goodness he's has a friend that has an automotive shop and they can balance them there free of charge, so my baby and his friends have been out in garage taking off the old ones and loading up the new ones in the back of another friends pickup and taking them to the business, so happy my Johnanthon is mechanically inclined, he does all the work on truck himself, he's always trying to save us the all mighty dollar that doesn't seem to go very far these days.....

And for the other Queen in this house she's home sick, she should of listened to me instead of choosing to run around with her friends all this last week, thats a very SORE matter with me and thats all I'm gonna say......

Well my sweet blog family I must go and do what ever my body is going to allow me to do and let me tell you if I do too much the incisions let me know when I've done to much so I hope this finds all of you doing well and enjoying your Sunday~

I'M HERE.....HEY I'M HERE!!!!! =)

2011-03-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

O my goodness I got to get on!!!! It's been so long sense I've been on here and so many of you I've kept in contact with from facebook or E mails...I hope what ever I've done it works and I can get back on a regular basis, where to start? I'm doing fine, a week ago I had to have my gallbladder taken out, with much fighting with my primary, and you all know how I love a good fight from time to time, finally got a referral out to specialist to have a certain test done, and it showed my gallbladder was only working 10%, so here I am...gallbladder free!!! I wish he'd would of just listen to me, I know what I'm talking about.....some of the time

My brothers birthday has come and gone and of course I was so sad, BUT...I did have cake and Ice cream with him, Larry took me to the cemetery and we stopped on the way and I bought a single serving piece of cake and pint size Ice cream, balloons and flowers and I had cake and ice cream with him, it was so dark with rain clouds that day and on the way to cemetery I asked LORD not to let it rain til after I was done visiting with my brother and as Larry and I got in the car and started driving out of town it started to rain so hard...So LORD heard me and granted me a beautiful day!!!!!!
I have missed all of you so much and will try to get on here when I can which should be allot since the surgery, I'm off for 3 weeks and it's only been a week that I've been off and I am B O R E D stiff, cant vacuum or mop and it's funny how you think of the stuff that needs to be done when you cant do anything....then dont want to do any of it when you can and you can only work a word search for so long, but I have caught up on my soap operas, those things are so funny, the house's all are so immaculate on them, the women NEVER wear sweats and tee shirts, the children never bicker with one another, and you NEVER see the women with a can of comet or bleach in their hands.....awwww the life of make believe is grand!!

Christmas, New Years, Life & pranks.....

2011-01-10T17:33:00.000-08:00

Man it's been a long time since I've been able to be able to blog, sometimes it wont let me write any new post but I can read all of yours, I think I deleted something off this thing that screwed it up for me....Where to start? All is well here, CHRISTmas came and went with bitter sweet memories, I thought for sure it would of been better this year...my brothers children didnt go to my Mom's and that hurt Momma so much, my nephew and his official now fiance had so many places to go that it would of been to late to visit grandma, they waited til the last minute to find out what time Mom wanted them over and my Mom & step dad are older and likes their evening time, and my niece has a new boyfriend and she decided to go to Idaho and meet his family and never called my Mom to tell her, so it was just the 4 of us at Mom's! New years eve I stayed in, had to work that week end but ended up not working cause I had the flu, and Larry had to work. Larry's side of the family is the one with some pretty HUGE issues, his sister and her husband are getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage, just fell out of love, she's changed so much since the separation, they've been separated since Easter, but I kept it on the hush and hush, hoping things could of been worked out, both of them had a strong relationship with our heavenly father at one time, not any more, she's been living the wild life as Larry calls it, but she married her husband at the young age of 18, so that shall tell you something, but I dont say anything cause it's not my job to judge and I dont like the gossip like the rest of the family is doing and when I hear it I shut them all up real QUICK, so she's dating a black man, but he treats her good and loves her and besides God dont see color only some people in the physical world see and judge by color, race, and religion, I told a few of them, that shuts them up when I'm around!
I've been having gallbladder issues, ended up in ER last week from pain, and I can take pain, but not this...all my test came back negative, my primary thinks I passed a gall stone, so I will be seeing a specialist, waiting for an appointment, the ding ding ER doc. said it was GAS!!!!!!!! I told him 8 mg of morphine and a bottom blood pressure of 117 isnt caused from gas and half of bottle of that pink stuff, I know it was my gallbladder by my symptoms, had to argue with my primary to get me too see a specialist, and not just anyone I told him who I wanted and I asked him whats the big deal, my insurance pays for it, and I pay for my insurance not you and I got my way, so when this is all done and over I'm firing him and finding a new primary, plane and simple......
On to my children....Amanda is doing good and still enjoying life, she makes me so mad on one hand then on the other she makes me laugh, I am truly blessed that God allowed me to be her mother, where would I be today had I not been blessed with her, the thought scares me, probably not sitting here being able to blog, she's a beauty inside and out and her heart is ALWAYS in the right the place
Johnanthon, O my sweet Johnathon always an adventure with him, the kids now do this thing called " Christmas treed" and what that is friends playing a prang against friends and fill the trucks or fill your front door and yard full of used Christmas trees, Johnanthon and a few friends have done it to each other and this last week end we got it GOOD, I seriously think there was over 100 used dried up Christmas trees at my front porch and lawn, a few on the roof, I looked like a used Christmas tree lot and it took him 2 hours to clean up the mess, I felt so honored and loved to know his friends knew I would get a laugh out it. They took half of them and did his AG teacher's house while he was gone to Chile for a winter vacation, can you imagine coming home from a beautiful vacation to find that mess at your front door?? Thank goodness his AG teacher likes him cause Johnanthon will be the first person he will suspect! Johnanthon ...........aw my Johnanthon!
So, this is whats going on in a nut shell

Thanksgiving, silverware drying 101, & prayer request....

2010-11-28T07:39:00.000-08:00

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone and I read some where that it takes all together about 10 hours to prepare for that holiday and this includes prepping, setting the table, cooking, and ect and in about 45 minutes it's over, food ate, table cleared and some dishes washed, crazy uh? Thanksgiving at Mom's was small but so very sweet, it was her, my step dad, my 2 children and myself, I wish Amanda hadnt forgotten the camera, my Mom handed them each a towel and told them " Get to drying those dishes your Mother just washed" I so bad wish you could of just seen the excitement on their face, you could truly tell they where enjoying themselves......NOT!! Johnanthon taught us all how to dry silverware...put a pile of good silverware in the middle of the towel, wrap it around the silverware and rub the towel back & forth, up & down and walla......done!! I seriously could hear my brother laughing over "drying grandma's good silverware 101" My brothers son and his girlfriend ( one day she will be my niece ) came by later for dessert and chatted, I was so happy over that and that just made my mom's evening, but my brothers daughter did not show or call, but thats fine, what ever......but in a nut shell it turned out to be a great evening...
Today were suppose to decorate the house for CHRISTmas, last year I didnt do a darn thing, had out 1 Santa Clause and "A" poinsetta, I didnt do any shopping at all until the last minute, were talking like on CHRISTmas eve!! I just wasnt in the mood, I HATED it last year, but I promised my brother I would this year, do you remember me telling you how my brother loved to come over to see what I got new for decorations, well this year at a yard sale I bought a little CHRISTmas corasell that goes on the fireplace mantel, and when I told the lady who was having the yard sale about last year and how I didnt decorate, she gave me, thats right ladies GAVE me a Mr & Mrs. Santa clause, now this is bringing tears to my eyes and said " Honey your brother will see you got 2 new things and hugged me and reminded me that GOD loved me and that I will see my brother SOOON, so I think I will take this lady something, isnt it just the neatest thing ever how GOD works? I usually dont stop at yard sales much any more, but I did this one and look what a got, 2 new things and a reminder about FAITH~ I will post pictures of my decorations when I'm all done and speaking of decorating if I dont wake up my husband nothing will get done....
O...one more thing, Larry has a friend who's daughter is battling for her life!! she is about 20'ish and has lukeymia,( wrong spelling ) and this family is about to lose their home, he's had to rented an apartment in San Fransisco for his wife so she could be closer to their daughter, and about 3 years ago him and his wife lost their oldest daughter to sepsis ( an infection that went through out her body) please lets all pray for a CHRISTmas miracle for this family, they are slowly loosing their faith and that just hurts me so badly.....

What I'm Thankful for & Happy Thanksgiving to all of you~

2010-11-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL~

This time last year I couldnt think of anything to be " Thankful for " but a year has pass and I will confess I miss him more than any of you will ever know, but I am Thankful for.....

Having the privilege of having him for my brother~
To have my Mom still with me~
The love of family & friends~
To be able to LOVE GOD when & where I want~
To have a job to go to~
The warmth of a home~
The wonderful memories of all my loved ones~
To be given the honors of being a Mom, friend, and counselor to 2 marvelous young adults~
Being able to see the world, feel the warmth of the sun and to hear laughter~
But I think the number one thing I am more Thankful for than anything, that GOD loves me......

I hope your Thanksgiving is a blessed day spending time with your family, friends.
Each of you have blessed me and made me Thankful for being my friend/family more than any of you realize......

When there is disappointments, there is always someone who makes you smile

2010-11-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Life is so full of disappointments at times....My mom called me and asked me if I had heard from my brothers children about Thanksgiving and I said No but I will text "T" right now and ask her what time she was coming so I did and the response I got back wasnt what I wanted, she's not coming to my moms, her mother had surgery on her feet and cant be on them so "T" is going over to cook and clean then after shes done eating at her Mom's she's going over her boyfriends family's house, what upsets me the most is my ex sister in law, who I still love very much has other family that live near by that could help her out with the after stuff, so I had to call Mom and tell her not to buy a big turkey and why and you could just hear the sadness in her voice, I really thought that after my brother left his children would be just a little closer to mom, and mom thought the same way, if my brother was still here and came to our Mom's his children would be there, and that's the truth, but GOD allows us to only get so close to people for a reason no matter who they are and all this is in HIS plans, but I will go ahead and make my cranberry/raspberry jello salad that is delicious and a pecan pie with chocolate chips on the bottom, my brother loved that pie and go after work and eat.
I ordered my Johnanthons cap and gown this morning, just a few short months my baby will be graduating and going off to boot camp for 16 weeks, I could not believe the price of that thing almost $50.00, O my gosh he's so funny, he just came home from school and said " Your kidding!" Whats wrong honey, I asked, I burnt a hole in my pants today from wielding, thought I felt my leg getting hot, but thought it was because I'm just a hot kind of man...... I love him so much!!!!
I sit here and think about everything that happened today and I should be very Thankful for what I got right here in this little home of mine cause with out my faith, and love I wouldnt have any of it in my life.......

Holiday Memorey.......

2010-11-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday everyone...
All has been pretty calm around here, kind of scary~ hahahaha. I have to work Thanksgiving day but after work I will head over to my Mom's for so FABULOUS food, her cooking is the best ever, but I bet we can all say that about our Mom's cooking, every year we have to take our own container over if we want to bring home left overs so I am saving my cottage cheese containers and that kind of stuff, I bought a pie this morning for dessert and washed the container it came in and I said " Look Joey, this is for the left overs at Momma's" and it brought back a time when he came into mom's house carrying a brown paper bag from the store full of plastic containers, we laughed so much and he was proud of himself, we teased him about saving for a year and when his children had to clean out his house they found so many plastic containers, some of them where Mom's from the years before she started making us bring our own, she said she never got her containers back, I miss my brother something terribly, I guess cause the holidays are fast approaching us and his leaving is still so raw but it is better I promise you. This year I will decorate for CHRISTmas, I didnt last year and I promised my brother I would this year, he loved coming to my home and seeing what new decoration I bought, so I will continue that and he enjoyed seeing the house all lite up with the lights and would tease me about how high my light
bill would be and I would joke back about how he needed a tax right off for the needy that he could donate to my light bill. I love the fact I can now have memories of him and not cry if anything I can smile and say " Remember Joey ? "

Saturday Morning & in a week's time.....

2010-11-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon people....I cleaned my house this morning and you will never guess what I did! I went to run the dishwasher and you know the little container that holds the rinse aide stuff? well I squeezed dish soap in it, thats right dish soap, luckily I caught it before I squeezed to much, so I then poured water in there to dilute the dish soap ran the thing and I didnt have bubbles all over my kitchen! I guess thats what happens when you wake up early and dont get enough coffee in your system!
When I sit down at this computer and look out my bedroom window I see this HUGE beautiful tree and with the leaves all turning orange, red's and yellows and when the wind blows it's just beautiful, I wish you could all see it like I do, I love to watch the limbs dance when the wind is blowing, hopefully you can see it in the picture or at least get the idea of what I look at....
Larry's dad was in the hospital last week, it was his heart again....he was suppose to have an ango gram done this week, but because he went to the hospital with chest pain, even after his 3 Nitro's in the 15 minute time frame, they admitted him and did the ango and his heart is fine, the Dr. thinks Larry's dad was just nervous and worked his self up over the test, this is nothing new to us, So, in a week or two they are going to put a defibrillator in, the same defibrillator that could of fixed my brother, I was some what bitter over that, Larry's dad is old and his heart is tired and weak, brought back some memories of me begging my brother to come down to where I live and let this fabulous Dr. help him, but he declined the help....but I brought home their little foster boy "J " who has ADD, and my Johnanthon had, I use past tense cause GOD healed him of his ADHD I seriously dont know whats worse, ADD or ADHD, but man O man, this little guy could talk...I fixed him a PB&J with a half of glass of milk and after taking the crust off for him and he ate it I told him " J....let's have some quite time, let's lay here and rest" and after 5 or so minutes he popped up and said " Sister" " Yes, baby doll" I said back, " I feel rested now" he said and the chatting started up again...Now, those of you that know me, know how I LOVE to talk, but I couldnt hold a candle to this sweet child.......
Amanda and 2 other friends went to the San Fransisco Giants celebration parade on Wednesday, so many people she said, you couldnt even walk and the energy was so high there that day, they drove to a point until I called and told them about a huge wreck and they took BART (Bay Area Region Transportation) that took right to where they needed to go, she had a BLAST.....
I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog to " Life, Love & Faith" what do you think? .......

Amanda's reason for loving baseball~

Just some tid bits~

2010-11-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

I normally don't watch baseball, but man I have been tuned into this series this year and our San Fransisco GIANTS won it!!!! I am so happy~ Last night as I watched the series, I would get so upset cause I had to get up and pass candy, cause the rest of us would all be glued to the T.V. So much has been going on, last Tuesday made a year my brother left this world, I wont use the word "died" cause he isnt dead, his soul is still very much alive, he lives in a better neighborhood now, and 3 days later I went outside to check out the clouds, cause it was cloudy here, and you all know how I love the rain, and as I looked up in the sky something just told " you need to let go " I cried cause I knew who was talking to me, I said " LORD, I can't, not yet please" I heard a sweet calming voice tell me " My sweet child, your not letting go, your letting him live his dream with me" that did, I sat down in the chair and sobbed...I told my brother I had to let him go, cause my deepest desire was for him to be happy and as long as I wouldnt let go, he would never be completely happy, and that I would love him and miss so very much the rest of my living life, but I had to do what my heavenly farther wanted me to do, today I talked about him at work about something he did, and I looked at my friend & co worker and said " Aren't memories wonderful" she lost her sister about 10 years ago to breast "C", she hugged me and we both cried a little, and that pain that all of you told me I would have as long as I held on is gone, I feel so much better, so Thank you all of you for your prayers and most of all your love and understanding, but now I will speak of him from time to time cause LOVE never leaves.....
* My brother loved Cat Tails...
thats why I posted these....

Happy Halloween~

2010-10-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

HaPpY Halloween everyone....

I don't get it sometimes I can get on this blog bussiness and sometimes I can't get on to post anything, so I'll take it as it comes, I suppose~

chest rechecking this thing...

2010-10-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

I'm as HaPpY as a calm now....serious. Hopefully this thing will work tomorrow, I prayed about this I told LORD.." Lord, please fix this blog problem, you know how I love to blog, it's so therapeutic to me, Please LORD just fix the problem, you can fix anything, even a simple computer" maybe he wanted me to have this time to talk to him.....THANK YOU LORD!!

looks like maybe I'm back~

2010-10-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

I'm back!!!!!!!!!! Don't know what I did, but I'm gonna try this again, I truly was down in the dumps about this not being able to blog business!!
Love & missed you all~

My Danielle Hope turned 4 !!

2010-10-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

Can't think of any better way to end my week end.....
This is my love and I am so happy that her parents allow me to be a part of her life......

Having Down syndrome is like being born normal. I am just like you and you are just like me. We are all born in different ways, that is the way I can describe it. I have a normal life.
~ Chris Bur

October...already?

2010-10-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Awwww, October is here already?! You can feel fall wanting to come, you can see it wanting to make it's presence known but for some reason we're still having summer like weather in my part of Cali, I love this time of year, clocks will be set back an hour soon, so then it will get dark quicker, it's already letting us know that, October will never really be the same for me anymore....one year ago on the 26 my sweet brother left this world, he took a hand and began his new life, sometimes, for the most part feels just like a few months ago I took for granted that I could call him and the pain is still here, not as bad as it was, and the tears still come and go from time to time, and I try so hard not to mention him on here cause I just dont want people to say " she needs to get in grief recovery " or " O'my goodness is she ever gonna just let go?" to answer the first question: I am in grief recovery with the best listener ever, the group: Angels, the listener : My heavenly Farther, and to answer the second question" I probably will never be able to let go 100%, how do you let go of someone who left just like that and who played a HUGE part in my life? I should of started weening myself away, not to depend on him to always being here, after all I am 46 years old, a mother, a daughter, and wife, but he helped me understand so much when I couldnt stand a soul or myself at times around here and with in the blink of an eye....POOF!! he was gone, took a deep breath and that was the end of his days here, and I seriously feel like no one understands me now, certain things you just dont talk to a mom about, learned that one the hard way! So, if I seem distance from all of you, it's cause I am and please dont take personally, it's not by choose, it's something I just cant help, it's not that I dont care about you, or that I dont love each and everyone of you in a very special unique way, cause I do.....it's just Annette is trying so hard to find Annette again, I have learned from my brothers leaving to depend more on my communication line with JESUS and to put EVERYTHING that burdens my heart in his hands, the same hands that lead my brother to his mansion....

LOVE~

2010-09-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

LOVE grows by giving. The LOVE we

give away is the only LOVE we keep.
The only way to return LOVE is to
give it away! Elbert Hubbard

We have a friend who needs prayer....

2010-09-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

Please pray for our friend Denise from" Life at my house" her mother went home to be with the LORD yesterday, Denise just lost her father in July, please keep her and the rest of her family lifted up in prayer.

"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."
Rom 12:15 New King James Version

Dennis & his Sunday shoes....

2010-09-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

What where you doing on this day?

2010-09-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

I know what I was doing on this day 9 years ago, as I was looking for pictures to post I started to cry, so many precious lives gone, all in a matter of moments. My Mom and step dad went to New York to visit his family and they went to ground zero about 4 years ago and mom said it just has a feeling there, a feeling she has never felt before, I asked her " Was it a icky feeling ?" she said " No, just a calm feeling" I told her cause GOD had been there.....

We've got GRAY clouds!!!

2010-09-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE GRAY CLOUDS!!! and a slight chance of sprinkles but I put in my request above for some rain, we all know how I love this weather, starting to look like rain clouds to me, maybe my request will be answered...sat out side this morning with baby Licorice drinking coffee and just taking in the weather, as far as I can see in the sky it looks gray, slight breeze, I'm loving it!! Blinds pulled up, windows wide open in hopes of getting that get the smell of rain, we all know that smell.
My Mom totally so enjoyed be birthday, she LOVED having her family around her. Some of you noticed the empty chair at the table, it just happened to end up like that, the family just kind of looked at it for a few and I looked over at it and said "Thats right Joey that chair is just for you, so you sit and enjoy all of this" and thats where he would have sat if he was in our world, this was my Mom's first birthday with out her only son and I know she was missing him, but its strange how a smile can hide so much.... Doesnt Momma look great for 76!!
She hugged me and said " Momma's baby" and I kissed those soft cheeks, her cheeks are so satiny soft, and I love her angel wings, thats what I call the loose skin on the arms, she said " My wings are getting bigger every year " as I rubbing them, I said " O'Mom, you've already had your angel wings when you became mine and Joey's Mom".....

HaPpY BiRtHdAy Mom.....

2010-09-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

76 years ago today God let a very special person be born her name to her parents and siblings was Joyce, but he knew one day she'd also receive the name "Mom" to 2 children and grandma to 4 children and friend to so many...God gave her all these names but to me she is my best friend forever.....

I LOVE YOU Mom!!

* I will post more pictures later
of her BBQ party

God even reaches people through facebook

2010-09-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

ovar Peter5:10-11 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. to him be the power for ever and ever. amen.

Yesterday at 7:23pm · Comment · · View Feedback (3)Hide Feedback (3)

- Annette Hale- Davis How did you know I needed this? after everything I've been through this year, lost my only brother who was my best friend and 5 months later my real daddy. when I read this I thought " This is for me & it fits me, I've suffered and still am, but he IS restoring me, making me be firm and steadfast in HIM" Thanks Jeff, now I'm crying....♥
  23 hours ago · ·
- Jeff It wasn't me Annette it was God he gave me the message to write, he wrote it just for you! May God keep blessing you and making you stronger everyday. If you ever need to talk let me know i also lost my dad and sister and know how you feel love, jeff
  22 hours ago ·
- Annette Hale- Davis Thanks Jeff, it still hurts even though my brother left almost a year ago and daddy left on Easter Sunday ( what a day to go, the day GOD rose from the grave, he rose my daddy up to be with him ) I LOVE how God shows himself to all of us, even if he has to use facebook to do it. ♥

Jeff and I go back to Highschool days, he was pretty wild and needless to say so I was just getting to be, now he's turned his life to JESUS 100%, he's always posting a scripture on facebook and last night it was this and when I read the part after you have suffered a while, I knew this was meant for me to read and I just wanted to share it with all of you, God knows how to us when were not paying attention to his voice....

Please send the following.......

2010-09-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

Good morning all....back down to the police station we go AGAIN!! do remember me telling you about how someone had stolen Amanda's identity and wrote almost $600.00 off her account and she closed that account and this guy at the bank, that I do not feel good about, just that gut feeling you get when something isnt right, told her she had to open another account up so when her monies come back from all those other checks has a account to go into go, well....it's happened again!!! yes my dear friends AGAIN for another $70.00 pizza at a local pizza place, talk about one HOT momma!!!! she gets a little money in there and boom its gone, so my guns are loaded but first stop the police station to get hold of the PI thats on the FIRST case, I dont want to go to the bank first cause I'm thinking if we go there first this idiot I'm not feeling good will have a chance to cover his tracks, he does have a history of bank hoping, and we will be closing that account out and any monies that come back to her they can just send her a check in the mail certified, the thing is when she opened this new account up she didnt not order checks, so no one could have stolen them from our mail box, thats why I'm smelling a rat in that bank, and this "Rat" knows I dont like him, just a couple weeks ago I had to go down there and tear into him, they where trying to charge her for "insufficient funds" charges, I marched my big ol'behind right to his desk, leaned on it and he backs his chair up and I slammed my hand down on his desk with the notice and said "Just in the hell are you trying to do? by charging her insufficient funds on an account that is closed, I didn't like you the first time my pretty blue eyes laid on you and surely dont like you now"
So........girls if I get locked up after leaving the bank will you please send me Diet Pepsi, water, and any kind of candy that is dark chocolate and Hot Tamales candies will work, and O'yea, magazines, I know I'm gonna have to pray before going into that bank, if the police say its ok to go down there, and this time I am NOT letting her mess with the "RAT" she's gonna deal with his boss....* good news, but maybe not:
It's off her old acct & NOT the
new one, WHEW....& yes, I did
talk to the "Rats" boss about this

HOT !!! Is the word around this town.....

2010-08-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

Today

Sunny

High106Low 69

106

69

Sunny

Abundant sunshine. Near record high temp

eratures. High 106F. Winds N at 5 to 10 mph.

This is going to be our temperature today where I live!!!!!!! Although the news this morning said 103, I got this off of goggle, so we'll see who's right later ! I have already put out a jug of water for sun tea, checked my tomatoes to see for ripe ones from yesterday, they will be ripe after today, guaranteed....it's crazy weather around here, just this last week our weather felt like fall, I even told Amanda, I think before too long I can put my heavier comforter back on before too long, well I guess I jinxed it, I am so r

eady for my favorite time of year to come back to me, I miss it. I noticed this morning when I took Amanda to work at 6 a:m the trees in the front, from neighbors and ours the leaves are falling, just a little bit more than the last time I posted on them. I told my Johnanthon last night, " It's a good thing good'ol Kelsey girl (his 4 legged girlfriend for the past 15 yrs) is in heaven, she could have never stood this heat" and this poor kitty of mine who mourned for her back yard buddy went through this horrible stage, she mourned so badly for her, she lost some hair and weight, but thats all coming back, I'm keeping her in so she'll stay cool with all of us......

* As of 5:45 p.m. it was 105 here!!!!
so I guess google wasnt too far off.

Thought fall was coming, but....I think it fell some where else

2010-08-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

These last few days in my part of California you could truly feel fall in the air, but the weather lady this morning on the news said that things are going to be heating up in the middle of the week, I am so ready for fall, cause I know it's the start of my favorite time of weather, the rain, dark gray clouds rolling by with the thunder and the lighting quick on it's tail, and I set outside and watch the clouds roll by, I enjoy it so much, things just seem to slow down a bit, and speaking of slowing down I have done nothing all morning except make breakfast, showered and did the breakfast dishes! My children are gone, Amanda is at work and my Johnanthon is at a rodeo and Larry is in there watching Nascar....can we say "WoW" !!!
The state inspectors have come and gone in the part of the hospital I work in, Thank you sweet Jesus!! They did come in the gym the other day when a co worker and I where in there discussing something, there was knock on the door and someone identified them selves as Public safety and asked if we had a patient in the gym and I said no we dont come on in, I thought they where to check something out and the guy said we have Joint commission with us, man I sprung up from that chair like a cattle prod had zapped me in the butt and I said to my co worker So, thats the last of walkers "E" and walked out leaving her in there with them, on my way out I passed by 2 of them and they asked me how it was going and I said I'm going, some team player I am....hehehehehe I'm not afraid of them but they just ask 101 questions about this and that and to be totally honest with you I havent been paying attention to anything in our staff meetings regarding them, thats why I boogied out of there!!! and speaking of boogy out, I think I'm gonna boogy and get my fat kitty and take nap, I LOVE napping with her.....

This, that, & changes

2010-08-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

Hello sweet friends of mine!! I just dont know why I haven't been blogging much but I am so hoping to get back into soon, I love to blog and I especially love it when you come by and leave a comment, those comments mean so much to me, work has been busy, we where getting ready for JACHO people, they are like the state inspectors and everyone, well more so managers get all nervous and up tight, they can ask us and the patients questions, but not this girl, uhhhh NO WAY, I go into the patients rooms and close the door until our treatment is done, they are not allowed in rooms if the doors are closed, but they can come in if the curtains are pulled closed so I close the door behind me, we all will be on pins and needles while they are here, I just dont make eye contact with them so my thinking is..If the doors are closed and no eye contact they wont talk to me and its worked for me so far! I just realized the other day that my brother went home with the LORD almost a year ago, it will be a year Oct. 26, it just dont seem that long ago and there are times it just feels like last night, I still tell my brother I love him every night when I go to bed just like I did almost a year ago, I requested that day off so I could spend it with our Mom, my Mom is so precious to me and I cherish everyday shes here, John has a job working for an Olive farmer after school, he likes to have $$ in his wallet and Amanda has found a new "friend" they are just that for now, they're just enjoying each others company which is a good thing, she told me the other night " I like him, he's very nice but if doesn't work out for us at least we can still be friends instead of ruining a good friendship" I told her " By George, your finally learning this stuff"
I can feel the weather changing, I look at this drawf Chinese maple tree behind us and can see the leaves changing, not looking so dark green and few other trees leaves are getting lighting in color and more and more leaves falling on the ground, mother nature is letting us know her hormones are changing and this is the only time I like her........

Momma's baby is all grown up.....

2010-08-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

First day of Kindergarten

To this......

my baby started his Sr. year this morning, this year will be a final of a life book and a starting of a new life book for him....

Top picture:
Amanda in 2nd grade (8 yrs old)
Johnanthon first day of kindergarten (5 yrs old)

Bottom picture:
Chole & Johnanthon (18 yrs old)

Reminded......

2010-08-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength, they shall
mount up with wings as eagles, they
shall run, and not be weary, and they
shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30 KJV

I can remember when this verse first came to me, it wasnt long after my brother left this world, I was sitting outside in the back yard one morning at the other rental we lived in and across the street was an field and I remember talking to God about my brother my leaving all of us and I said something like " Lord, Now what I'm I going to do ?" and this eagle was flying in circles, like they do and I serious didnt think any thing about that beautiful bird flying around at that time, I got on my computer and looked under one of bookmarks called " Daily Inspirations " and this verse was the verse of the day and it all made sense to me and sense then I have seen this verse so much, and again today I saw it and am reminded of the eagle flying, I want to say "Isnt it strange how LORD will keep the little things coming back to you ?" but it isnt strange, he's got his reason for this verse to keep popping at me, so I will read and reread it until I understand it, parts of it I do, some parts are making sense to me, I am waiting upon the LORD and I know my strength is getting stronger every day with him, the rest I just havent put in place yet, but I will. I just wanted to share this with all of you I think its so neat how God is giving me messages, like I've said I have seen this verse so much latley and I know it's meant for me from him with LOVE!!

Only Johnanthon would..........

2010-08-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

OK.....so it's Friday and I'm working this week end, so what does this mean? Well I cleaned house today as if it was my Saturday....ICK!! I truly dont mind working week ends, not so many " Big Wigs" around, total different pace and atmosphere.
Was in ER the other night with John, it's always him, he decided to drink some creek water while he was camping last week end, "Cowboy John" I've been calling him, him and few friends went camping at Yosemite and took some horses and they where riding around and stop to let the horses drink, after John's horse started prancing, she loves John, she see's him at the fence and shes right there, it's kind of cute, so I know she was feeling the love that day, he just figured she was thirsty..
I was told by "Cowboy John" " The water was so cold & clear, it's snow melt of Mom"
and I told him "Just what makes you think that those deers, bears and coons dont potty ( not the exact words I used) in the snow, or that creek" he got severe stomach pains cause nothing would stay in or down, so ER we went after a mercy plead, he was dehydrated so 2 liters of fluid was given,
antibiotics, lomatose ( for loose stools) and MS (morphine given through the I.V.) this nurse gave a small drink of water and do you know he had the gall to ask her " Is this filtered?" the effects of morphine......
School will be starting soon and this is John's last year, I hope his Sr. year goes better than Amanda's, she got Senioritis so bad! and after this year is over it's off to boot camp in Georgia for him for like 3 months, my baby is grown up, seems just like yesterday I took the day off because he was starting kindergarten, and O'yea....took the day off when he started high school too, I remember the harassment I got from my brother for that one " you gonna go and sit and have lunch with him?" "Not a bad idea" I replied back laughing as he was laughing so hard on the other end of the phone...Yip....my baby is all grown up now.....

One Day...I can & I will....

2010-08-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well....The feelings I had on my brothers home being sold is some what better, but still hurts so deep, its part of " final " I'm not liking about the whole thing, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later but I seriously was hoping for later, I cant take that hour drive over there any more and go peek through the windows of what was once my brother's home, cant get out of the car and sit on those steps that go up to his house and talk to him, and look across the street to the cotton field that he once worked in, so many " I cant's " and I know that is just being selfish on my part, but thats being human when we grieve, we hold on too every bit of what we had that was theres and when we can no longer do that it hurts, hurts real bad, its the part of letting go that we dont like, and this little sister is trying to do just that, let go..... so many people have told me " you've got memories & his love" yes, that I do have, but memories cant take the place of not ever hearing his voice, or his laugh, or feeling those arms hug me, or smelling his cologne, or the few misunderstandings we had, so while I hang on to all those things and be stinchy with them, I will continue to cry, crying is getting less and less and I know that is God taking good care of me, he loves me and is allowing me to miss my brother so I can look forward to the promise land to live with him and my brother, and both of my daddy's!
The person that bought my brothers home is an ex husband of one of my brothers friends wife, and they all get along and my brother liked this man, so at least it isnt a stranger, they've done allot of work to the house already my niece told me, like my niece told me " Aunt Annette, Dad is smiling on who bought it " my poor mom is taking it very hard, I mean... VERY HARD, she asked me " Why is God allowing me to stay here?" I reminded her that her work that God has planned for her to do on this earth isnt done yet, her heart is so broken and it saddens me, she told " I just wanna throw in the towel " I told her " I just catch that towel & I'll leave you with nothing than a wash cloth, now try drying off with that!!"
I use to sit and say "I couldnt live with out my brother being in my world" but I am.... and now he's waiting for me and Momma to live with him in his new life....

..

Does anyone understand ???

2010-07-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Something so minor to others are so HUGE to me, I just found out my brothers home sold, I have cried every since I found out, I have mixed emotions on it, one more chapter to closure but another chapter to be open for another family, does this make sense to you? cause I'm having a real hard time trying to explain these emotions, I HATE death!!!!! It's like living this whole thing all over again and no one in this house understands why I cry over a sell of a home! My brother was my everything to me and I no one truly understands that's statement but me!! I need to go cant finish this.....

Daddy's head stone.....

2010-07-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

These are pictures of my daddy's head stone that my step mom & my sister picked out, my sister's daughter sent these to me, bless her heart! my sister is from my step mom's first marriage and my step mom also had a son, when my daddy married my step mom he adopted those 2 kids and they became his children, then years down the road the 2 of them had 2 of their own, Johnny, who was killed at the age of 12 from a double barrel shot gun by a neighbor girl and Marty ,who is the baby and who had his fare share of trouble but has turned his life around and gave it back to God and this made my daddy so very happy, he was so proud of all us, when I learned of the family picking out my daddy's head stone, I cried so much cause I couldnt be there to be a part of that, but my sister did call and ask what I would like and said "You know Sis, what ever you all pick will be fine with me, I know it will be beautiful" when my grandma was pregnant with daddy she had a girls named picked out, she just knew it was a girl, SURPRISE!!!!!!! So, she kept that little girls name and used it as his middle name, O'man the crap he got from that..... To the left of daddy's spot is where my little brother is buried and my when my step leaves this world to join Johnny and daddy she will lay to the left of Johnny, so Johnny will be in the middle of them, seeing this picture just made me cry, feels so final and so far away, and I know this separation is just a short separation cause I will see daddy soon......

* on the back of the head stone it has our last name on it, which is
facing to the half dirt half asphalt road with huge pot holes, this
cemetery is OLD.

Friends & fair = FuN TiMe!!!!

2010-07-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

This is just SOME of the crowd at the Blake Shelton concert, he's VERY handsome

In the back ground is Larry Aunt Janie, she's a hoot, this is Larry's Sister Sharon isnt she beautiful!
She got stung by a bee as her & I walked into the fair, I thought it was funny cause she works hard on her make up and hair and she was icing the sting and was worried about her make up & hair, I laughed so hard til I was bent over!!
Just midway stuff...
and more midway stuff...

My friend Suzi, she was my coach when I was in labor with Amanda & Johnanthon and my maid of honor, I've known her since 1982, took care of her mom in a nursing home, thats how her and I met, and been friends every since!!
This is Ray, Suzi's husband

Listening, but am I really hearing??

2010-07-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

"I am your Healer, your Joy. With noiseless footsteps I draw near to you. I need no agonized pleading. Your need is My Call."

This was on my side bar " Reminders from God"
and I loved it and so badly needed to read this today
and wanted to share it with all of wonderful blogging
family....yea that's you!! I have done my fair share
of calling to him these past few months and I know
he's called me back but have I been obedient to his
voice? Uh...not like I should be and I need to be
more open to him and less on my wants and desires!!
The tragedies that have happened to me these past few
months are not suppose to be tragedies , but time of
rejoicing and seeking my heavenly farther more, it
hasn't been easy and to be honest I haven't been rejoicing
but my time is getting better and I know its all because
of my love for my Lord and my prayers to him to help
my heart stop aching for my loss of my brother &
daddy and Gods happiness to have them with him
that is helping!!!!!!!

Beautiful trip & a Great long time friend~

2010-07-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

Man !! The weather was W O N D E R F U L yesterday at the ocean, it was only 72 compared to our 103 here in the valley and my little car did GREAT on gas, just 1/2 tank there and back, it would of done better I think if Larry wasn't just a lead foot!! I love the trip there, so much farm land on the way there to see, if this one part of the road we traveled on wasn't so busy with traffic I would have had him stop a couple of times and taken pictures of garlic being harvested and artichokes growing and alfalfa fields, I think those fileds are just so pretty, miles and miles of that stuff growing, looked like a green blanket, I guess thats the country girl in me, living out in the country when my Momma married my Dad and thinking at that time " yea, its just hay"
Heres my pictures of Montarey and one of my friend that I haven't seen in like 27 years, she lived in the same town as I did, got married that ended bad, she left her husband before the baby was even born, moved in with her parents, had the baby a beautiful little girl who isnt little any more shes 28, I use to go and visit them all the time when "S" moved back in with her parents, then my friend moved to Louisiana with her new boyfriend, another long story, then moved to Missouri married a wonderful man and there shes been, her daughter moved back to a local town close to me, and "S" came to Calif. We found each other on FB, and it was like we just saw each other last week, cried, hugged, laughed, cried some more,talked about our sorrows that happened in our life's, the joys we had in our life, and what we want in the future and we both agreed on calling each other at least once a month and we'll be in heaven together!!

Cooler grounds

2010-07-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

Tootles.....Were heading to cooler ground this morning....Monterey ( the ocean)
suppose to be 104 here !!! ICKKKKKKK too hot for me. Will post pics tonight.
See ya all later

She has learned a very hard lesson, a very hard lesson

2010-07-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Boy O boy !!!! Have we been having drama (as Amanda calls it) around here.....
Some one has stolen Amanda's check's from our mail box or 2 men have something to do with Amanda not having any money in her account, its a long story but I'll try my best to shorten it up, couple months back she joined a fitness gym this guy at the gym told her to go this particular bank and work with this one particular guy at that bank, so she did, she closed out one account out at her old bank and opened up a new account at this particular bank that the gym told her to use, the guy at the gym told her to get a checking account so they can just with draw from her account for the monthly fees, he told her to come back when she got her temp checks, so she did, never thought any more about it, Larry and I have been on her butt about not saving any money and she was always in the negative at the bank I yelled at her one night and said " Yea, cause your spending faster than the money is going in" so the other day she got an over draft notice and shes complaining about it and she said "O I bet this is from when I needed some medicine this last time" I said "No, I paid cash for that remember" so any ways we get to looking at her statements and they send copies of the checks and noticed way different signatures on all of them except for the ones she wrote out to the gym on the temps, man who ever did this ate real good at a pizza place,( $ 73.00) bought allot of groceries, ( $ 200.00) bought allot of stuff at a super center, ( $150.00), and the list goes on, so we reported it to the bank and the police dept, all together with over draft fees she should be getting back from that bank around $ 600.00. The officer that took her statement went and talked to the 2 guys, the one from the bank and the one from the gym and he told me today that they are shaking in their boots and are very scared, he could tell, so now we wait, its just been a mess for her, so I am going to be calling our landlord and telling her we are changing the mail box out to one with a lock on it, cant afford a P.O. box, so she opened a new account at that same bank for a reason I told her to leave it alone for one week then I will take her to another bank, told that guy at the bank " if shes going to be getting new checks with this new account, just cancel them RIGHT now" Amanda didnt even want a checking account to begin with, yea...then the guy at the gym told the cop, O, know you can use a savings, checking or debt card for the fees and the cop told him "Thats not what you told Amanda" and the cop told Amanda they didnt need her checks for this that they could have used a deposit slip, that all they needed was a routing number" So....theres a monster praying on my daughter, but not for long cause shes got me for a Mom!!! I just pray for these poor pitiful souls!!and this was me after leaving the bank , LoL

Happy 4th to all

2010-07-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 4th OF JULY

I like to know why and how we get what we got that symbolizes holidays, so I looked " fireworks" under ask.com and this is what it said...... Gunpowder was invented a long time ago by a Chinese chemist. The invention of gunpowder eventually led to the invention of firecrackers and fireworks. The Chinese people used them to scare away evil spirits, especially at the time of The New Year festivals.
The Italians were the first to use them as airborne art displays.
Fireworks were used in North America to scare off and impress the Native Americans. The tradition of setting off fireworks in the United States was started because in 1776 they were used as a morale booster for the troops involved in the Revolutionary War. This event was considered very patriotic. The many colors that fireworks create were not discovered until a few decades ago. Now all around the world fireworks are used as entertainment and during celebrations. In some parts of the world countries spend millions of dollars on creating complex and spectacular displays using fireworks. In Thailand, they are used during funeral ceremonies.
Fireworks in America are also used to celebrate our Independence Day (July 4th) and it brings happiness to Americans worldwide.
Fireworks were made because the Chinese wanted something more festive to celebrate with, and created fireworks. They used them to make beautiful light shows during the Chinese New Year.

P.S.
Please to continue to keep our friend Denise in prayer through this very difficult time. With much Thanks~

Please pray for our friend Denise~

2010-07-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

Please pray for our friend Denise from a " Life at my house " her father took God's hand on Thursday, July 2. Denise has been taking care of her elderly parents for sometime now and with out any complaints, she did this all in the love she has for them, Denise is so full of Gods love, I met Denise through Donetta " A Life Uncommon" she had left a comment and I liked what she wrote and..lets say I was curious about this lady and visited her blog and have never left! When my brother left and 5 months later so did my daddy, she like all of you prayed for me and still will when I feel the need to have some help to get me through some still pretty rough times, she puts her needs and anyone else's needs in Gods hands and trust's his decision in everything and knows what ever the out come will be, it will be of his will, so she put her daddy in his hands and let God have his will. So please keep Denise and her family in thought and in prayer, God loves a thoughtful heart....

Pictures of my new (well new to me ) little car !

2010-06-29T07:28:00.001-07:00

Now listen ladies, I was standing out side in my night gown getting these pictures for you, ran back in side 2 times cause someone just had to drive down my street, I love my little car, it's '08 Toyota Yaris, gets real good gas mileage 40 on the freeway, someone asked me at work, "So wheres your first road trip gonna be ?" I so bad wanted to say Oklahoma, it only takes about 24 hours to drive there straight threw, but I didnt, I said " O' probably to Monterrey " I wish I knew how to get there by my self cause I'd be on the road this morning, and the insurance is so darn cheep on it, it doesn't have the fancy stuff like my Buick Regal had but thats fine with me, I use to tell Larry "I dont need all that fancy stuff, it's nice but I dont need it" I will not let Amanda drive this one, she drove my last one and drove it hard and that didnt help it, my poor old car had seen it days but what did it was when I was coming home from work at 5, when theres so much traffic of course, I had put my signal on to turn left and the d@mn thing died right in the middle of the street and the next day Amanda took it too work and it wouldnt start on her, so off to the car repair I go, after several dying stops on the way, and as much as it would cost to repair it that was a down payment I figured, so back home I came with it and using so pretty colorful words along the way! I told Larry, "WE are going to get me a good used car tomorrow" I was not leaving the car lot with out a car either, walked, drove, walked, drove and then I got tired of that drove this one and here it is, we called my old car "The million dollar car" cause every time we took it in for repairs it was NEVER cheap, I'll think of a nick name for this one the first time I take it in, I'm hoping for something along the lines like "Cheep Blue" ........

I LOVE YOU~

Momma's ( thats me, not my mom ) is HAPPY!!!!!

2010-06-26T06:26:00.000-07:00

I GOT A NEW CAR!!!!!!!!!!

Well it's not brand new, after all who could afford a brand new car in todays economy?? well maybe if your a Dr., lawyer, judge that kind of person could, maybe, well back to my car it's '08 Toyota Yaris!! not all the bells and whistles are with it but thats fine with me, I will post pics soon. I'm suppose to be getting ready for work and just wanted to post the Happy news! hey you can look it up and see what it looks like if your curiosity is getting to ya. Have a sweet day my friends!

Happy Fathers day Daddy & Joey. Love Sis

2010-06-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

What Makes A Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad

~ Author Unknown

To the outside world we all grow old.
But not to brothers and sisters.
We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts.
We share private family jokes.
We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.
We live outside the touch of time."
Clara Ortega

* My brother drove these during cotton picking season, his love was to be in the fields!!

& Daddy LOVED his grape kool aid, I put a package of it in his coffin.

Salsa in the future, Amanda, dairy work, & just what is EBV??

2010-06-17T19:10:00.000-07:00

Tuesday evening after work I planted 2 tomatoes plants and jalapeno plant in pots, the way the sun is in our back yard they wouldn't get that afternoon sun that they need to produce and the sprinklers when they come on will hit them and then I'd lose my flowers on the plants, so pots where the best ideas, I will post pictures when they are full and more mature, EXCITED about having tomatoes for suppers and fresh peppers for salsa!! We LOVE our chips & salsa around here!!!!!!!
Amanda is a sick lady...shes got a real bad bladder infection, she called me from work yesterday crying from the pain and she was running fever, too boot, called her old doctor who's a pediatrician, after she begged me to call him cause he told her once "I'll always take care of you" I told her "honey, I'll call you back in 5 minutes to let you know that he cant see you cause of your age" so I made a mercy call and the main receptionist said "O bring her in honey" so I did and he told her of the infection, she had symptoms last week, that she ignored and he got on her and told her not to ignore anything that her body is telling her, and reminded her of her ebsteinbars and how important it is not to let things go, so now shes is worn out, the bladder part feels better but shes is just so tired and that's from her ebsteinsbar , I will try to find something of the internet explaining that condition.....
Johnanthon is going to summer school to make up credits so he can graduate and be able to go in the Army, then its off to work after school, one of his teachers own a dairy, smart teacher with all the school cuts, so Johnanthon is doing all kinds of odds and ends jobs over there, I told him maybe he'd land a job in the barn milking, he said "I doubt that Mom, he's got all portagees working in that air condition place while I sweat and work in the blazing sun" he's just happy to have a job and making some money, he's not afraid to work and will do anything. I'm happy hes got a job too!

Epsteins barr Virus:

EBV is caused by herpes virus 4 and is most frequently recognized as the virus responsible for mononucleosis. However, contraction of EBV does not always mean one will get mononucleosis. In fact, EBV can sit dormant in the body for years, and suddenly flare up into mono in times of extreme mental or physical stress. Cases of mono most frequently occur in young adults.

EBV contracted by children can result in mild flu-like symptoms for a few days. Some children will have full-blown mono, but many will never develop the symptoms of mono. EBV is extremely prevalent. Most people show exposure to the virus by the time they reach adulthood.

EBV is now the common explanation for chronic fatigue syndrome, which results in persistent feelings of fatigue. This may seriously impact people’s lives in that they may suddenly be too exhausted to pursue their normally vigorous schedule. The relationship of EBV to chronic fatigue is not clearly understood, since most people have been exposed to the virus and do not develop chronic fatigue. In fact the actions of EBV cannot always be explained. Even with fairly technical understanding of the virus, there are no proven explanations for why some people develop mono or chronic fatigue upon exposure, while others never develop symptoms.

a simple common cold can kick her butt for days, so every year,faithfully I add, she gets a flu shot, cause her getting the flu can put her in the hospital, EBV usually leads to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Evening of enjoyment......

2010-06-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

This evening after dishes where done and loaded in the dishwasher, my lunch for tomorrow made, I went outside to water my hanging baskets of flowers and I could hear birds just chirping away in the the Chinese maple tree behind us, I told Licorice "Man honey, there are some real upset birdies" I thought maybe a another cat was trying to have a feast, so I sat with my glass of water and my loyal friend in my lap making bread and drooling and listened to these lovely little creatures chat, then I could see a few on the fence and they where just babies, I'm thinking they must have just moved out of there little home that kept them secured for a while, a smile came to my face and my sweet loyal Licorice paid no mine to them, she found comfort in my lap, they would fly just a little bit from one branch to another, I sat there in just pure enjoyment, then they'd venture down to the ground back up to the bottom of the board that is on the bottom of the fence, they worked so hard to get back to the top of the fence, then they'd get little more braver and fly just a little farther from the last spot, then 3 of them flew one way and 2 flew the other way, I thought how sad, for awhile they were inseparable, they lived together, ate together, and now they will no longer be a family, made me a little sad, silly I know, but as child if I saw someone eating by them self it would make me sad for that person, if I saw a lost dog, I'd think, that poor little dog belonged to family at one time and I wondered if that family was just as scared and lonely as that dog appeared, and I am so Thankful that my family dont go one way or another and that I dont always eat alone and that I dont have fear of ever being lonely, even though there has been times I feel so alone, but in all reality I know I'm not ever alone and one day I will be like those little birds....flying straight up to heaven and I will feast with the King of kings!!!! I am reminded of that church song, " I'll Fly Away"

God......Grant me

2010-06-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I read this yesterday and thought to myself, " This so belongs to me " and I read and reread the words and thought to myself " I can not change what has happened but I need courage to change the things I can change, and the WISDOM to know the difference when I have, life hasn't been easy these last few months but I can not change that, it wasn't in my life planner, cause I would have never planned it out this way!! but it was in HIS plan......

Summer time, Maturity & Sanity, WHAT?????

2010-06-04T17:04:00.001-07:00

Summer time is diffidently here, school last day was yesterday and my Johnanthon is out job hunting, his friend "C" graduates today and then will be heading off too boot camp for the Army, I think in July. Johnanthon went to school this morning to do some welding for extra credits, he came home and told me the teacher invited him and 3 other boys to go on a camping trip sometime this summer, this teacher only picks 4 of his "favorites" and this same teacher hated Johnanthon last year, Johnanthon said, I said "How come honey?" Johnanthon reply "Probably because I was a smart a$$ to him" Uh.....imagine that, a child of mine a smart a$$!!?? I told Johnanthon well see there son, you mature and people change their minds about you and this teacher really does see that your a good guy you just have a dry sence of humor" kind of made me want to cry just a little, I use to tell my Johnanthon' Prove these people wrong about you, let them see that you are a good little boy, he would say back "I dont have to prove nothing to no one but you" ahhhhh, yes, he is my baby. Amanda is taking full advantage of some of her friends being out of school as well, yesterday they all had a " ladies day at the lake", thought I noticed a few things missing from the cupboards, Amanda told me she found out one of her friends are pregnant, I just sat there and shook my head, I said "Let me guess, shes gonna keep the baby uh?" I didnt notice the girl standing there and Amanda's eyes just got HUGE, I just looked at the girl and told her that the best thing she could do was give this baby life, but to seriously think about its future as well as her's, THESE DAMN girls, no excuse to get to pregnant when they can get birth control free, just go figure, this burns me up, but what can I do, probably nothing....
I have had so much going on in my head that I just dont feel like talking to any one, I didnt even want to call Mom the other day but I did cause I had let a week go by with calling her, I think my dads passing is finally hitting home with me, I told my brothers ex wife that my world has been turned upside down in these last 8 months and I am trying so hard to turn it right side up and I'm finding difficult to do, I wonder if I will ever snap out of this? I know people say that God will not give you more than you can handle, but I am having a very, very hard time handling this, first my brother leaving, then 5 months later my real dad leaves, Mom is having issues with her heart, Amanda gives me cr@p all the time over everything, and my Johnanthon is becoming a man and well be serving his country for all of us, and Larry just doesn't understand anything, and work is so demanding, and I'm suppose to handle all of this and keep my sanity too??!!

* and this on my side bar of my blog "Reminders from God".....hmmm, meant for me to read, I didnt read it til after I posted.
Rest more with Me. Alone, away from noise and activity, from these times you come forth filled with Spirit.

My poor Licorice kitty is so sad~

2010-05-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

My poor Licorice kitty is just so sad, every since we had our Kelsey girl put down, she just dont eat much, lays where Kelsey girl use to lay and has loss so much wait. Amanda said "Mom she just looks so sad" I said "well honey all we can do is just love on her more, she'll snap out of it soon" I never thought to tell Licorice that her friend for so many years would be leaving, call me crazy but I believe she would have understood, I'm a little worried about her, I know how shes feeling. Mom is back and had a wonderful time, she said the wine in Paris was fabulous and you have to dodge the bikes, like we have to dodge the cars here, and in Germany my step dad said even though the beer is served warm, its still very good and men and women sit out in front of their homes and drink it in those huge glasses, and yes, the German women are just as big as you see on t.v, I thought "Hmmm, I could pass as one then" Momma brought me back a medallion from Notra dame de Paris, she said that place was just beautiful and had my step dad took pictures of that famous tower for me, (can't spell it & spell check didnt have it) one at night when it was lit up, and one at sunrise, I'm going to change my kitchen theme to french things and take the pictures have them blown up and framed and hang them in my kitchen, their hotel room was right by it, they could see it from their balcony, now how exciting is that?? This was their last big cruise, they've been all around the world, and mom has been to Portugal and Spain when my dad Gilbert was alive, so momma can say shes seen the world, lucky lady......
I'm getting pretty excited drag races will soon be fast approaching and this time Amanda's going, I'm so happy she's going to go, get her away from everyone and everything, it will be good for us to spend some time together, then the following week, I'm going to see Faith Hill in concert in Napa at Irongate vineyards, Amanda's boss is going to get Larry and I and himself tickets, and these tickets are VIP, so yea, I'll get treated like I'm some big wig, free food, free beverages and they'll even bring us chairs to sit in, in a special area, its open area, no seats, but you can sit on the grass if you'd like or stand, so yea it kind of makes up for the little trip I couldnt take in April to Coronado Island with Kim & Joni, thats when my daddy took Gods hand and left this world to live in the glory land, another lucky person.

I LOVE YOU ALL~

Bitter sweet day~

2010-05-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a smidgen sad for me, my niece and nephew had a yard sale of some of the "junk" stuff that my brother had so I strolled around the stuff that laid on the ground, looked at his some of his boots and could remember him wearing them and I mentioned " man my brother had little feet " but I thought those little feet of his sure had allot of miles on them and by the looks of the sole of those boots they did too, looked at some shirts that where there and one of them I could remember him wearing when we took Momma out for brunch once, I noticed coffee cups sitting on a table, picked one up and thought "my brother's fingers wrapped around this handle as I wrapped my fingers around it looked at the rim of it for some kind of lip prints, and I carried it around and I brought it home, I felt so connected to him, something as small as a coffee cup gave me a connection, took some throw pillows that he had on his couch, I looked over those things like no ones business, just to find something of him, my sweet sister in law, his ex wife, had been watching me scouring over thing that was his, I looked up with this coffee cup in my hand and that I felt a connection with and these throw pillows and the tears just came like some one had turned on the water hose, I sat in this recliner he had and sobbed, my niece, my nephew and his sweet girlfriend, my sister in law and her husband she has now, came to my rescue and hugged me and let me cry, letting go is so very hard, and I dont think I am completely ready to let go of my friend, and my big brother, or will I ever let go of him? I have tried so hard to than something will just resurface it, I still have flash backs of the night he left us, flash back of his funeral, flash back of childhood memories, like the one time he ate my roses off my birthday cake and how mad momma got at him cause I was crying ( smiling on my end) and she wasnt in the mood probably at that time to hear me cry over butter cream flowers.... Girls, I so badly miss him still but I know in time I will see him again and those little feet of his will have walked him to gates to greet me when I run throw them and I know I will be able to eat all of the butter cream flowers I want with him, all in Gods time.........

Momma's home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Got a message on my cell phone yesterday and mom is HOME!!! she said she got a bug while on her trip and that she is very jet lagged so I didnt bother her yesterday when I got off, this morning I got a phone asking me if every thing was alright cause she didnt hear from me? I just said "Mom, I knew you werent feeling good and that you where jet lagged so I thought I'd leave you alone" she said she missed me and I joked about calling her, told her I dialed the ships number and hung up cause I knew if I called I wouldnt get my gifts, she sounds great, man I happy shes home....

Beautiful weather for playing in dirt with some sweet company~

2010-05-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

I told my husband the other day when I was trying to "pretty up" my little patio I wish I had some hanging baskets to hang some flowers in and this is what I came home today!!
I got off early today so I needless to say seeing this table of goodies made me happy, so planting I did !
This is what 2 of them looked like, I had 3 baskets to fill!!!! I wanted to hang some rope lights but didn't have enough so off to shopping he'll do tomorrow, he doesn't know this yet..... I wanted to get a picture of the basket to show you the design.

And I had this for company.........
I LOVE YOU ALL~

Nice weather, waxy ears, to hormonal girls, Annette...NO PHONE CALLS!

2010-05-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

WoW!!!!!!! Wednesday already!!!!!
Some real nice weather here in my part of Cali, house work done, or as much as I'm going to do anyways =) My Johnanthon is in Sacramento signing his contract with the Army, they have him a job, that's what they call it, its a position he wants he's been there a couple of times already, this last time they put him in a taxi to go to the doctor office to get his ears flushed out, "too much wax" well crap now, he cant help it that he's a waxy kind of kid and when he returned the jobs where all taken, then he got a speeding ticket sometime back and ignored it, he "thought" it was warning, tried to explain to this boy of mine the cops don't give out those little pieces of yellow papers for warning's that say "appear on....." so that delayed him a bit, Momma to the rescue after $200.00 later, a job came open and they held for it for him as long as this ticket was paid by Monday, how sweet of Uncle Sam, he will be heading off to boot camp next June, and that's in Georgia, and there's my sweet little social butterfly.... Amanda, her and her long time friend where going to move out together and rent a room, and in a weeks time that all changed, which makes me just wee bit happy, told them both that when you move in with a friend some times a great friendship is ruined, well Amanda told me " Mom, "K" is just too hormonal for me" giggle here, and said " O really Sis, cause that's what I'm hearing from her about you" I had to put "K" in her place, imagine that! when she started bad mouthing Amanda to me, like I told "K" " We may not like her friends or her boyfriends but we have to respect her and choices and I cant change her, you cant change her and neither can her dad, she is who she is, so STOP bad mouthing her to me and trying to get me to gossip about my own daughter and her choices, AND..... if my memory serves me right, your one of those choices as well!! "
I think today I will try and make this small patio pretty, I have some tube lights I might try to hang, man I have never seen so many nails in a patio than here, move Kelsey girls home, still haven't done that, and just rearrange some stuff and pull out some stuff from the garage, then watch mother nature will decide to give us some more rain and wind.
Man, I so badly miss Momma, she'll be back next week, another week, (sigh, sigh)
she left me the ships number and said " DO NOT call unless there is an emergency" I said "Sooooo, calling and leaving you a message that tells you I love you and I'm missing you is out of the question then?"

I LOVE YOU ALL~

Happy Mothers Day to all of you~

2010-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

A Mother's Love

There are times when only a mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears.

There are times when only a mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.

For a mother's heart and a mother's faith
And a mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the angels
And sent from God above.

--Author Unknown

* my Momma...Joyce
taken Thanksgiving Day 2009

My Mom is Cruzing......again!!!!

2010-05-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today I took Momma her Mothers Day gift from me, and bought a little something from Joey, her first Mother's Day with out him and she wont be home, shes going on ANOTHER Cruz, this one is a European Cruz, they will fly into Paris stay for 3 days then fly to Germany and board ship and Cruz all around Germany, they will be gone for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, she will be busy on Sunday, she cried today I told her this angel is from me, it was an willow figurine, 2 angles together hugging, and then I got a just a little plaque from Joey with flowers on it and it read "You make Mothers Day special all year" I said this is from Joey, he told me to get it, when I saw it something told me "Get this for Mom from Joey" I told Momma "I know he'd like it too" My poor mom, I would give anything to take her pain and tears away.
The Dr. has put her on new blood pressure meds, it really has slowed her down, thus in return keeps her heart calm, what is left of it from her massive heart attack, she has only 40 % of it working and her left carotid 55% blocked!!!!!!!
I so bad miss Kelsy girl in the morning, I always have my first cup of coffee outside even whens cold, windy, rainy, just do and she'd always come out of her little home and say "Good morning" with a lick on my hand and a head nudge to pet her, the cat even knows she's not around, have caught her a couple of times peeking in Kelsey's little home, I know deep down shes so much better off, Kelsey
had a mass between her arms on the chest area, I thought it was a fatty tumor, but the vet said no it was cancer, he could tell by feeling it, so know Kelsey is chasing those cats all over heaven and napping with my brother. Well, my sweet friends, dinner needs to be cooked and cloths need to be folded, so tootles.......

We say " Fare well" to our Kelsey girl......

2010-05-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

Today we'll have to say "Fare well" to one more family member, our dog Kelsey, she's been in our hearts and home for 11 years now, and my Johnanthon has agreed to allow us to let her go to heaven to help God out in his gardens, to keep cats the out, shes been my Johnanthons girl and he's been her man, but shes been coughing and it sounds like croup and hips are bad and she gags so bad when she coughs. Heres a little poem I found and please keep my son and the rest of us in prayer....

*****************************************

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous

Johnanthons prom pics....layout is bad, sorry

2010-04-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

I tried my best to lay these out half way decent , but you get the picture!
shes is just as sweet as she is beautiful and so very dainty, and would just look at
my baby!! she got her dress at a consignment store for $25, his tux cost more than her dress did. I will post tomorrow about "prom night" it's a story in its self.

Just want you to know.......

2010-04-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

Good evening ~
I feel like I owe so many of you an apology for not leaving comments on your post but I do stop and visit, I just haven't felt like being very sociable, I am trying to re figure my life out right now, so much is going on in this head of mine, too much for me to even understand sometimes. But I do want you all to know that I truly do appreciate all your prayers that you have sent my way during this horrible time in my life, its made stop and think about my life in ways that are very personal to me, I would like to say I will post about it but in all reality I don't know if I would. I don't think people would truly understand whats going on here at home, or in my life, as so many of you know I have a history of depression, major depression and its not a fun ride at all and boy can I put on a front that all is well, if people only knew!!! No I will not do anything stupid, I've learned how to deal with that part of my depression, I am stronger than that now, God delivered me from that!! So, what I'm trying to say is I will try to get back to a more personal visit with all of you more often, I hold each and everyone of you so very close to my heart and its your sweet thoughts and funny comments, and your inspirations that keep me here in blog land. I will try to post pics from my Johnanthons prom sometime tomorrow. I love you all~

Daniel Hope~ Our God given angel with Down Syndrome

2010-04-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures of my Daniel Hope! She's my God daughter with Downs Syndrome, isn't she just a beauty!!!!! shes 3 now and signs, she does say some words but according to the teachers she's behind in vocabulary. She is a true miracle, she was born with holes in her heart, like so many of them and I had everyone I knew praying and every morning they'd take x rays of her heart to check the holes and they, (meaning Dr's) where going to do heart surgery and one morning holes where present by afternoon for one last set of x rays before surgery holes gone!! boof, vanish, by by, all from the power of prayer. I never knew how much I could love another child, like I do her, she grasp my finger when she was new born as to say "I'm always going to be with you" and that grasp my heart strings and this little angel that God blessed this world with has had my heart every since!!

I will post pics of Daniel Hope tomorrow

2010-04-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

I will have pictures of Daniel posted in the morning, you know, the one of my many loves with Downs Syndrome, my God daughter!!!!!!!! Can't wait to share with you!!!!

Just this & that....

2010-04-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

Good morning friends!!
It's Wednesday already!!! golly, where has the week gone? Monday & Tuesday where my first full days back to work and it seemed to go fairly good, except for the few people who I hadn't seen on Thursday, before I was sent home and told to go ahead and take Friday off as well, either I am numb to the fact that I have lost 2 very special men in my life in a 5 month period or God has just really cushioned my heart, but I haven't grieved has hard as I did when my brother left, maybe its the distance I had with Daddy, or the fact that I didn't have him full time in my life, like I did Joey, someone asked me "Didn't you find it harder with your brothers leaving, than you do with your Dad?" and honestly I had to respond with "Yea, I have" I wonder why that is?? I still have my time where out of the blue I cry, cry for both of them, but nothing like I did, I do believe God has my heart in the palm of of his hand, and so many times I could feel him wipe my tears and just hold me and let me know all will be OK!!! A heavenly Fathers love is undescribable.
It rained here in my part of Cali. yesterday evening, with hail that stayed around for a few and thunder, I put on my coat and made some coffee and sat outside and enjoyed that time, but these storms are nothing like Oklahoma's, man! Now those are some beautiful lighting shows, when I was there I said "God, please give me one these Oklahoma lighting shows with thunder" ask and you shall receive, a show I got!! then the night before daddy's service it was SO cold and windy, to the point my cheeks where red the next day, but I asked Lord to please give us beautiful day, and guess what? that's right, ask and you shall receive, Sun was warm and no wind, until after everything was done. I miss Oklahoma so bad, and when my Mom decides to take Gods hand and go home to her mansion that shes building, I'm moving to Oklahoma, I told her this and she said "Honey, if you want to move there, don't stay here on my part, go and be happy" I said "I am happy right here with you, and besides you missed me and cried every time I called, imagine what you'd be like if I moved, and I'm all you have" and the tears came from both of us.
My Johnanthon is going to the prom this week end, he always looks so handsome in a tux and the girl hes going with is a friend and just as sweet and cute, shes no bigger than a minute, comes from a wealthy family and gets so upset with Johnanthon when he says anything about her being wealthy, I like that she doesn't see that some people have more than less, she was raised right, in my book!! She's so upset that Johnanthon will be going in the Army, she cried when I told her this and just looked at Johnanthon and he hugged her and said " I'm still here so lets just enjoy the time I am here" shes so little she couldn't hug him back without him bending over, its was sweet.......

~ She's 20 today~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY Amanda

2010-04-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA LeeAnn

Silly, sunglass wearing lady
my social butterfly, who fly's in
and out the front door with " I'll be home
later"
sensitive, giving, protective towords
her "little brother" (don't let the
screaming matches fool you)
But most of all.....my angel, my daughter...

Ride city/cowboy ride!!!!!

2010-04-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is my Johnanthon at a local rodeo, riding the mechanical bull, he loves to ride the real ones too!! Just wanted to share one of the LOVES in my life with all of you....

unpacking....too final

2010-04-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well I have been home from Oklahoma since Saturday morning and I still haven't unpacked my suite case, just been going around it and I know I haven't put things away for a reason, too final, my trip was a bitter sweet one, an Easter Sunday I will never forget as long as I have my mind. God was so good, the day before it was so windy and the night before it was so cold and I asked God the night before to give us good weather, the kind Daddy would have liked and he did, sun shining and no wind, there where about 600 people who attended Daddy's funeral, their church held 600 people in the main sanctuary and a hand full in the top balcony and flowers up the kazoo. My daddy's minister said "Mr. Hale loved his family and every Sunday he'd walk to the alter and prayed for all of his children" here was a man who was sick himself from a previous stroke and he never asked for a healing instead he prayed for me and my other siblings, what an unselfish man my daddy was, he was big boy and looked gruff on the outside but inside he was like the angels that where with him, sweet, kind and gentle and so loving. I told my baby brother " you know Marty, here I am in Oklahoma and he doesn't even know" "O, sis, he knows" he said back to me hugging me, my baby brother was so in the world at one time, went to prison for drugs served his time and when he got out he started going to church with daddy and my step mom and is on fire for the Lord, it was sweet seeing him sing the songs and raising his hand in praise on that day. I miss my daddy today, even though he lived in Oklahoma we had a bond, we finally formed a bond after years of absence from each other, that was the works of our heavenly master!

My biologicl daddy died on Easter

2010-04-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know if many of you know this but I had to leave for Oklahoma in a rush on Saturday, got a phone call from my step sister, a very fine lady my daddy raised and she told me that our dad had a massive stroke and it didn't look good, so off I went to drive to Oklahoma with my aunt and uncle, my daddy was on life support!! Got to this huge hospital in Tulsa and the Dr. took me to his office and showed me the latest MRI of my daddy's brain and there it was full of blood from the hemorrhage and clinically brain dead and the law in Oklahoma is if the patient is considered brain dead they have to pull the plug, so pulled they did, I sat there and watched the numbers slowly go down until it was flat lined, my daddy was died and I fell to my knees in that hospital room, there's a story to me and my daddy's relationship that I will post later, daddy died Easter Sunday, and I told my family, " What a beautiful day to leave this world, the day OUR Lord and Savior rose, and my daddy rose to go and be with Our heavenly father on the very same day!" We gave my daddy an old fashion Pentecostal funeral, buried him in over all's cause that's all he wore..... I am so rum dummy right now haven't been to sleep since I got home and I got home at 5 this morning. My heart is so heavy again and my faith is so being tested and I found out my mom's heart isn't so good either, I'll post on that too later but for now I'm going to clean my kitchen and maybe, just maybe that will ware me out, but I don't know Larry is snoring so loudly, YIKES, whats a sad tired woman to do, any suggestions would be appreciated!!

A Good Friday poem

2010-04-02T12:39:00.000-07:00

Happy that Mary gave birth to him
Happy to know he knew me, before I was even conceived~

Sad, very sad cause he died on the cross for thee
but this he did all for me!!~

I want to cry for him, but why?
All that pain he suffered was for me
on the cross at Galilee~

3 days later he rose AGAIN and the
tomb was empty once again~

He's alive and knows me well
cause he rose again for you and me~

Annette

A last conversation & prayer with Mat~

2010-03-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Please pray for Amanda & Johnanthon's friend Mat, he leaves late tomorrow for Afghanistan, he is the youngest son, and his older brother is over there some where as well, this poor mother. I talked to Mat tonight on the phone for one last conversation until God brings him back to his home land, "Annette" "Yes sweetie" I answered back "Well please visit my Mom and send me pictures when you and her send me care packages" with a chocked up voice " Of course I will Mat" "Well you do one more thing with me and for me?" he asked again "What's that honey?" I asked of him, "Well you please pray for me right now over the phone, pray for me to have strength, and for God and the angels to protect all of us that are leaving tomorrow? I know you love God and I know you pray" trying to hold back tears I prayed with him. I never knew what other people felt when they would say, Our friend, or our neighbor has a son or daughter in Afghanistan, Now I know how they feel.... so please keep and continue to keep our men/women and Mat and his family as well the other families in your prayers. "Mat, Keep making our country proud" "I will, I love you Annette" "I love you too Mat" and the phone hung up.........

For the Marine Reservist
One ordinary man, with a heart made of gold
Training one weekend a month, until he was told
To bring all his strength, and control all his fear
Kiss his loved one's goodbye, but don't shed a tear
Now is the time to put your training to the test
Fighting a war with America's best
Seven months you will be gone, in a land far from here
Fighting a cowardly enemy, the dangers will grow near
Don't give in , don't give up, stand tall and be true
For you are a hero fighting for the red, white, and blue
The country will thank you, and proud should you be
Because the world will be safer for both you and me

-Dawn Cook-

Palm Sunday~

2010-03-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

On Palm Sunday Christians celebrate the Triumphal Entry of Jesus Christ into Jerusalem, the week before his death and resurrection. For many Christian churches, Palm Sunday, often referred to as "Passion Sunday," marks the beginning of Holy Week, which concludes on Easter Sunday.

The Bible reveals that when Jesus entered Jerusalem, the crowds greeted him with waving palm branches, and by covering his path with palm branches. Immediately following this great time of celebration in the ministry of Jesus, he begins his journey to the cross.

All is silent....

2010-03-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

All is silent this morning, except for birds chatting with each other and a few cars I hear going by on the street near by, the sky is as blue as a pool, and the air is crisp and smells clean. My Johnanthon left last night to go to a rodeo with some of his bull riding and roping buddies, I took him shopping for food to take, I guess one of the friends parents have a summer home and that's where these boys will be staying, so Mom got him, eggs, langusia, (spell check didnt have the correct spelling for that word!) milk, bread, ham, potatoes, and he took a tri tip each boy is take food, he must be growing up, I noticed he took his sticker off the back window of his pick up that said " Redneck" and the cow bell is off his hitch...he's one of the many loves of my life!
Amanda spent the night with her friend that's shes known since elementary school, I think I'm going to start charging her car rental fee's plus gas, just a flat rate...hehehehe, imagine the money I could be making if I did this, the thought has crossed my mind, and Larry, well he's still at work, that's a good place for him!
Mom and Bill went to Arizona for a week, they have a time share and they go every year at this time to watch the professional ball players practice, Joey was suppose to go with them this year, but instead he's watching from heaven, cant get a better seat than that, and me, well I'm doing my usual Saturday thing, then it's off to buy a couple tops and flip flops for the trip, O.....I am starting to get so excited about that. Talked to my brothers first and only wife last night, they divorced some years back and shes a busy lady, shes in city council and is in Georgia for work related stuff and when she comes back her and I will be getting together and that makes me happy as well, when her and my brother divorced I still talked to her, but Mom and Joey didn't know or else the fight would have been on, and my thinking about that whole thing was "I didn't have to live with either one of them and I only heard one side of the storey and besides it's not my job to judge anyone in this world" she always stayed as my sister in law and my children's Aunt, I am so, so, so happy Mom made peace with her, I remember telling Mom " That makes me so happy Mom, and by not making peace with her could be the one thing that would keep you from going into heaven and seeing Joey" the two of them talk on the phone probably once a month now, Isn't forgiveness just an awesome thing, to have that burden lifted off your heart and too feel good, I love knowing that God was working on Mom's heart at that time, it's proof that for everything that bad happens in ones life, something wonderful is just right around the corner, if we just open our eyes and heart and be submissive to our heavenly farther!!